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What Support Warriors Actually Need as We Stand, Support and Battle for Our Loved Ones with Mental Illness

January 28, 2019 By Lindsay Gee

Let me start by saying this: being the “safe place” for my son as he battles his anxiety and depression is an honor and I am 100% grateful that I am his person. Never doubt that. Please. You have no idea the effort and “blocking” it takes to be the support person he releases all his ugly words, emotions and energy on during his moments of crisis.

I have incredible respect for those of you who battle mental illness. I call you Mental Health Warriors. To get up, get out of bed, be judged, work through it, get through each day and brave on to the next – you have my full and complete respect. But the following words are not for you. They’re for the Support Warriors who stand and fight beside you in not only your times of crisis, but every day you may or may not need us.

When my son is in the midst of a panic attack he becomes a different person. He’s angry. He can’t breathe. He cries. He yells. And he says the most heart-breaking words you could ever imagine your child saying. I won’t tell you what he says, because those are his words, his moment and you don’t have the right to know. But, they’re awful, hurtful, and tear my heart apart every time they leave his mouth and hit my ears.

At the end of the day, I know I’m loved. I know that when my son gets through an attack we will both be exhausted and raw. And, as much as I know he doesn’t mean the words he says during an attack, hard as I try, they do chip away at my heart and my confidence in being able to be what he needs. Once he’s settled, my heart and soul remain bruised and battered and need to be nurtured. And this is when Support Warriors feel their lonliest. After an attack.

Trust me when I tell you that Support Warriors are well aware of the work that goes into supporting mental illness. We know the strategies to try, we know what to do…or we don’t, but ultimately we’re doing the best we can with the tools we have at the moment. Unfortunately, most Support Warriors feel the need to constantly defend their choices, their tactics and their strategies to the public who know very little about what we go through.

When you see us working with our loved one to get them through an attack, we don’t want your advice. We really don’t. It’s distracting and takes our focus and energy away from the person who most needs it.

Please don’t tell me to get my child to breathe (he hates breathing strategies). Please don’t tell me to distract him (he hates distraction). Please don’t tell me to tell him to list things he can feel, smell, taste, etc…he also hates that. As a Support Warrior, I know all this. I’ve learned all this and for us…it hasn’t worked yet.

When I get my child through an attack, the last thing I want to hear is how I could have done it differently. Maybe tomorrow I’d be up for your opinion, but definitely not right after. I’m raw. I’m hurting. I’m relieved. I’m exhausted.

Advice, although well-intended, actually isolates us. It makes us lonlier than you could ever imagine. We’re not asking you for strategies in those moments. Truly. We’re asking you to give us space to support. We’re asking you to not judge us. We’re asking you to not judge the person we’re supporting. We’re asking you to support us, give us a hug when you can and tell us we’re pretty (just kidding…just tell us that you can see we’re doing the best we can in a really difficult situation).

For all of you Support Warriors out there, I’m here. I feel you. I appreciate you. I will battle beside you every single day. You are amazing. The words you hear, the emotions you absorb and the impact that energy has on your soul is crushing. I feel you. I hear you.

I am you.

You are not alone in this.

Not only do our Mental Health Warriors needs support, but the family members, the friends, the coaches and anyone else who is trying their best to help, empathize and encourage…they need your support. When we manage to get our Warrior through a panic attack, a bout of depression, an episode or whatever our Warrior is going through, we need to know that love and compassion await, not judgment on what we could be doing better.

We need you to check in on us. We need you to hug us. We need you to empathize. We need you to tell us how fucking strong we are because, trust me, supporting anxiety and depression is soul-crushing work. Would I change it if I could? F**K YES. I wouldn’t wish mental illness on anyone. But can I change this right now? No.

So, I need support and love. I need to know I’m not alone.

Support Warriors – you are fucking rockstars. You deserve all the self-care you can swing. You need to take a moment when your person gets through their attack to acknowledge how fucking SHITTY that was and that you ALSO made it. You are also a WARRIOR. You battle. You fight. You support. You love at times where you have all the anger and hatred directed at you. And yet…there you stand. Doing your best to get your Warrior to a safe place. YOU are their safe place.

Support Warriors – where is your safe place? Do you have one? Are you taking care of your own heart and soul to help you get through? I sure hope so. You’re important. You’re going to need counseling. Trust me. Get it. Find it.

My idea of self-care. Yoga in a beautiful place with amazing Hot Mamas.

You are not alone. You do not have to battle alone.

If you’re reading this and this has struck a chord with you, please reach out. If you need support in supporting – please reach out. You’re not alone. We can battle for our Mental Health Warrior, but do not forget to take care of you. If you’re feeling lonely, judged, pitied and like you’re not doing enough – welcome, my friend – you’re officially a Support Warrior. Now the goal is to support one another and build one another back up.

I will tell you over and over again how amazing you are. How strong you are. I would glue your heart back together and sprinkle glitter on your soul if I could to brighten your world. But I hope this post at least, in a small way, lets you know you’re not alone.

I’m here. Right beside you. Fighting. Every single day.

Filed Under: A Word About Family, A Word About Health & Fitness, Uncategorized

Product Review: Skincare for My Over 40 Peeps

January 21, 2019 By Lindsay Gee

Turning 40 has been a lot more positive than I thought it was going to be. I didn’t have that “OMG…I’m turning 40, life is over and I’m dying” dread that previous generations had. In fact, I’m more excited about my life and where I’m headed because I know what I care about and I know what needs to be let go.

I’m a lot more secure in who I am. People have come and gone from my life, and I’m okay with that. I’m made a lot of mistakes. I’m okay with that. I continue to make mistakes. Also okay with that. I think with age (and wisdom?) you realize what’s important, where to put your energy and when enough is enough so you choose to move on.

Yes, 40 is awesome. Exciting, actually. And, while I love being in my 40’s and I know that I’m supposed to embrace every aspect of aging, I just don’t want to. I like healthy looking skin. I like being fit and strong. I like taking care of myself and feeling good. Not for you. Not for the fellas. Not for anyone but me, myself and I.

So, forgive me, or don’t…but I LOVE trying new skincare products that help me “glow”, that help my skin stay healthy and that help me feel better…for me.

I was given the opportunity to try a few skin products from Brazilian Skin and while I’m a total skincare hussy, and will try anything that smells yummy or claims to be good for my skin, I truly did like these products.

I used a product called “Age Reversal Bratoxin“, a serum used twice daily. You truly need a very small amount and after a few weeks of using the product I had some wonderful compliments about my skin “glowing”. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! Love this product.

Brazilian Skin also has a super amazing magic wand called Bratoxinsta. This little magic trick can be used before an event or going out or whenever you feel you need a little “wrinkle-be-gone” boost” because it does, in fact, smooth areas I don’t super love (hello, crows feet). Now, this isn’t permanent and only works for a few hours (kinda like Cinderella…the magic wears off), but it does work for the short-term war on wrinkles I love to battle.

So, there you go. Two more skincare products that I really liked and saw…what?…actually results! Ba-BAM! Yes, please! I’ve promoted the product a few times on my social accounts (Instagram and Facebook) where I had a code for a discount! Let me see if I can hook y’all up again.

Give this stuff a try…I did. And I liked it! Woop! Let me know if you try it out! I’d love to hear from you!

Filed Under: Uncategorized

From Me to You – I Sure Do Love You.

December 20, 2018 By Lindsay Gee

Dear Hot Mamas,

I’ve sat here now for a few days trying to find the words to write to all of you but no words could ever possibly do justice to the emotions coursing through my body.  I started Hot Mama because I love teaching fitness, I love my kids and I love empowering women to be their best selves. It’s who I am and when I teach, I am the happiest version of myself. 

This company has been all of me for seven years now. I’ve been able to “stay home” with my kids (while working 18 hours a day, lol), it’s given me an outlet to follow my passion and I think we all did a damn fine job at building a supportive and loving community of women supporting women. I’ve received hundreds of messages over the years about how we’ve changed lives for the better and I know we’ve made an impact on generations to come. Well, at least my own kids have been impacted by Hot Mama, and for that, I am grateful. 

I met some of my very best friends through Hot Mama and I have met the most incredible women while I pursued my dreams. I cannot explain to you how important you all are to me and how much you’ve changed and formed the rest of my life. The gratitude and love I have for each and every one of you will never diminish, no matter what happens. 

I grew an empire. It may be a very small empire, but it’s mine and I will look back at this time, smile, sigh and lift a glass of wine to its success. 

But, the time has come for me to step aside and take a break. It’s time I put myself and my family ahead of anything and anyone else. I’m sure this will be a surprise for most of you, and to be honest, I have agonized about this decision for a long time. I’m a little scared, sad and a whole lot…tired. 

I need a rest. I need the company to grow and be the powerhouse I know it can be, and for that to happen, I need to rest and let someone else take the reigns. The Hot Mama team will be in touch as decisions are made, but know this…this is not the end of this community…this is a shift where a shift is needed. We do good work…it cannot all be for nothing. So please, continue to support your local Main Mama, continue to love and support and honour one another. Continue to sweat, swear, cry and cheer. Please.

If you feel I’m letting you down, please know that my goal was never to let anyone down. My goal was only ever to support and love, inspire and encourage. I could not be more grateful for the support and love you’ve all given me over the years. Without you, I would not have survived the seven years without all of you support and encouragement. You are the heart of this company and I only wish I could truly express what you’ve all meant to me. 

A few weeks ago I taught my last Hot Mama class. At that time, I wasn’t entirely sure if that would be it, but my heart was pretty sure. I cried as I taught, though I’m uncertain anyone saw my tears (we were all a little sweaty), I cried only in celebration of the strength and sense of community I felt in that room. You cannot know how it felt to teach that class and to feel the love from you all at that moment. I will never ever forget it. Ever.

This isn’t the end of me. This is a pause for me. I need to reset, recharge and get healthy. I need to remind myself of who I am and what I want and I need time to do all of that. The Hot Mama community is incredible and even playing the smallest role in building this business has been the most wonderful experience of my life (aside from being a Mom). 

I need you ALL to know that through it all I have loved every moment, every person and every memory created. I love you. I love you all so very much. I only wish I could have been more and done more for you. You deserve it. You truly do. 

I will be offline for a time now to rest and surround myself with only those closest to me. I hope you’ll respect my desire to rest at this time. 

Again, please continue to support Hot Mama. It truly is an incredible business with wonderful and strong business owners giving it their all. 

Thank you, Hot Mamas. Those two words could never possibly be enough, but until I see you and am able to wrap my arms around you and let love seep from my heart to yours, it is the best I can do. I am grateful for Hot Mama and I am most certainly grateful for any woman, man or child that has been a part of this crazy ride that is Hot Mama. 

Until next time…

With love, gratitude and respect,
Lindsay, Your OHM

Filed Under: A Word About Business, Growing A Business, Highs & Lows, Uncategorized

The Domino Effect of Deciding to Change

November 14, 2018 By Lindsay Gee

We all know that change is hard. There are thousands of books written on how to go through the process of making changes for the better. There are thousands of articles on steps you can take to help you through the hard times. But honestly, the hardest thing about change, about pivoting something in your life, is that you have no idea, absolutely no idea if the change will actually be for the better.

I mean, sure, there are some decisions that you’ll make that are pretty dang clear, but I’m not talking about the easy decisions. I’m talking about those major decisions you need to make in this life of yours that change the entire path you’re on. These are the decisions you eventually need to just trust your gut, throw caution to the wind and…decide.

How daunting is that? It’s no wonder many of us sit stuck in a place because we’re too afraid to take even the smallest of steps in one direction. How can you decide something that will forever impact your life if you have no idea if it’s right or wrong?! 

But, at some point, you’ll need to throw your hands up in the air and either pivot or don’t. Make the move or don’t. Change or don’t. 

But, here’s the #1 thing I’ve learned about change:

Change is not just one decision and you’re done.
Change requires thousands of decisions and pivots.

Change starts with one decision and one pivot that dominos to many. It requires a decision to make a move, and that move will then need to pivot, then another pivot, then a pivot to that pivot, followed by an unexpected pivot and then probably 897,00+ more pivots. This is one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned as I’ve made some pretty major decisions in my life. 

Your decision to change, to pivot the way you’ve been leading your life, your business, your job, your relationship, whatever you’re changing doesn’t end with that one decision. That one decision snowballs and apparently, for the most part, most major decisions will impact every aspect of your world. I don’t say this to scare you, I just wish I’d known that when making major decisions I’d need to put on protective gear for all aspects of my life because one major decision has the potential to affect all areas of my life.

And honestly, whether the major decision or change you’re making is in only one area of your life, it’s going to affect that area PLUS all the other areas. Making a big work decision? It’s going to impact your personal life. Making a big personal decision? It’s absolutely going to affect your work life.

Oh Lindsay, stop being so dramatic. 

I know that’s what you’re thinking, but hold on…I’ll show you what I mean.

We’ve recently made a change to how I run my business. We’re testing out a new business model, moving away from franchising and into licensing. Now, this was a MAJOR decision and one I didn’t take lightly. I spent months and months agonizing about the decision. I did my research. I spoke to my mentors. I consulted successful business owners. I read, I researched, I took courses and I finally decided to make a change, to pivot my business.

Here’s what happened:

  1. I pivoted and was instantly filled with self-doubt.
  2. I lost sleep.
  3. I didn’t eat – that’s my stress response.
  4. The people around me panicked (change is hard and when you make a decision that impacts others…they’re going to panic).
  5. I worked like a fiend to prove that I made the right decision.
  6. I pushed my team to work as hard as me.
  7. I upped my exercise regimen because exercise is medicine for me and when stressed, I workout.
  8. I had little time or energy for my friends.
  9. I cocooned.
  10. I got sick.
  11. I worked long hours sacrificing precious family time.
  12. I then had to pivot my pivot and I didn’t see that coming. 
  13. I then had to pivot the pivot I initially pivoted. 
  14. Then all these new changes I made further impacted all the areas of my life and so the cycle repeats.

You see…one decision impacted the mental, social, physical and emotional areas of my life. Completely and totally. And, I still have no idea if I’ve made the right decision. I have to believe I did, but again…one change has led to 897,000 additional pivots (okay, that was a liiiiitle dramatic).

Change is hard. It can affect you physically (sleep, physical activity, food intake, alcohol intake, etc.), emotionally (stress, irritability, all-consuming self-doubt, etc.), socially (all relationships and how you function as a mother, partner, friend, etc.) and mentally (mental sharpness, ability to pay attention, thoughts and ideas, etc.). 

But the best thing I’ve learned about change? Even if you make a mistake, you’re one pivot away from a new direction. You’re just one decision away from redirecting yourself to where you’re meant to go.

Although change is hard and most big decisions will impact every area of your life, don’t stop. You have to continue to pivot. Did our first pilot test of licensing work? Maybe. I didn’t stay long enough in that decision to find out, I pivoted again and again because I listened to my gut. Did I give up? NOPE. I continue to pivot and adjust daily. And I will continue to pivot in this direction until I nail it.

We pivot. We pivoted the pivot. So, no matter what decision you make, whether it was “right” or “wrong”, you will absolutely, 100%, need to re-evaluate and adjust. I wish I’d known that. I wish I’d known that one pivot or decision isn’t enough. 

One decision leads to thousands. One change will lead to thousands of tiny, super significant pivots. 

It’s effing terrifying, isn’t it?! Trust me, as someone going through MULTIPLE changes, I know how you feel. But, the greatest consolation I can give you is that you’re one decision away from righting any mistake you’re about to make. So go on, change. And know that no matter what, whether that one decision you made was a mistake, you’re just one more decision, one more change, one more pivot away from getting on the track you truly desire to be on.

It’s not much of a consolation, is it? But, it’s something.

All this to say: Don’t be afraid of change. Make the decision, change your footing and remember it’s okay to pivot. Give yourself that permission. You’re not going to get it right the first time. But, I have to believe, at some point, I’m truly going to nail this. At which point…I’ll pivot…and make it even better. 

 

Filed Under: A Word About Business, A Word About Family, A Word About Health & Fitness, Growing A Business, Highs & Lows, Uncategorized

30x30x3 Workout Series: At-Home Box Workout

November 9, 2018 By Lindsay Gee

Welcome to the fifth and final workout for my 30x30x3 workout series! I sure do hope you’ve enjoyed all of the workouts. The great thing with series like these is that you can link a few together and get a full-body workout OR if time is tight and you want to focus on one area, you can choose to do that, too. 

My followers have a SERIOUS love for box workouts, so OF COURSE, I’ve added a boxing workout to my 30x30x3 workouts series! AND, I added an extra block because…again…y’all love box workouts and another 3-minutes will be a little added bonus of goodness and sweat. My little gift from me to you. ‘Cuz I love you. Yes, I do!

The Workout:

5 blocks of exercises.
2 exercises per block.
Perform each exercise in one block for 30 seconds.
Repeat the block 2 more times.
That equals 3 minutes
Rest 30 seconds
Move on to the next block and repeat the above until all blocks are complete. 

As always, be sure to check out the YouTube video and make sure you know all of the exercise included. This video is juuuuuuuust over a minute long, but it’s not time wasted, so go check it out. CLICK HER E FOR THE VIDEO FOR THIS WORKOUT.

And…AAAAAAAAAAND…if you want me to coach you through the workout, plug in my podcast and I’ll take care of reminding you about your form, the timings, your rest interval and some verbal motivation! You can find my Dig Deep with Dr. Lindsay Gee pocast via iTunes (CLICK HERE) or Stitcher Radio (CLICK HERE). 

Filed Under: Let's Workout

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About Lindsay

Lindsay is a health warrior, passionate about supporting others to find their best life and filling her days with a business she loves, a community of women she cherishes and a family she loves with her entire heart and soul. Read more...

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