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Hey Adults: Ease Up on Our T(w)eens, For The Love!

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This post is mostly for my generation…because damn…we have GOT TO CHILL when it comes to our tweens and teens.

My son, who yes, I do feel the sun rises and falls with him (but also yes, I KNOW to be a friggin’ GOOD KID because I’m told repeatedly how well-behaved and kind he is) – is constantly telling me about incidents he has with adults when he is out and about…doing wild, wild, wild things like…fishing.

Yes. Fishing.

He tells me that he gets yelled at by women “your age, Mom” about keeping his fish, that he should throw them back, etc. Or, if he’s riding his bike – ON THE MARKED PATH – that he’s being dangerous and not following the rules. Or, if he’s out and about outside, minding his business – he’s loud and disruptive. Because how DARE a tween take up space in this world.

Oh hay – OUTSIDE is where he can be loud, FYI.

So, here’s my kid – at the ripe old age of 12 having to defend himself against misinformed asshole adults who don’t know the rules and feel obliged to inform my kid he’s doing wrong, when he very much IS NOT.

Here’s my kid, GOING FISHING – not doing drugs, not smoking, not swearing, not staying indoors playing video games, not shoplifting, not bullying, not being an asshole – getting yelled at and berated for doing things that are within his rights and are LEGAL TO DO by dickhead adults who don’t know better.

He checks website, he talks to park rangers…HE KNOWS THE RULES…so fuck off and leave him be.

I think this comes from my generation because, let’s be honest, most of us were real assholes as teens. I think we believe that because we were getting drunk in the elementary school field at 14 and swearing up a storm, that “kids these days” are doing the same.

Here’s the thing: THEY AREN’T (for the most part).

“Kids these days” are smarter when it comes to stupid stuff we used to do. I have a lot of friends with older kiddos who would never ever drink and drive – which is something most of us Gen-X’er have done – and NO – we aren’t proud of it. But shiiiiiiit – that thought doesn’t even cross most kids’ minds these days. It’s not even in their decision-making repertoire. They know the damage and hurt that has caused.

Adults, us parent are doing a bang-up job with this generation that’s growing up in a pandemic. Truly, these teens and tweens are exceptional. So, let’s give them a little credit, a little freedom and a little runway to be…teens and tweens.

WE HAVE GOT TO CHILL.

Leave the kids alone. Unless they’re swearing and doing something awful to someone else – LET THEM BE.

Mind your own business. Nine times out of ten teens and tweens know the rules better than we do – because – THEY GOOGLE IT BEFORE THEY GO ANYWHERE. Our kids are the most informed kids of all generations and we, as adults, need to grow with them and understand that NOT ALL TEENS ARE BAD.

So, if you’re concerned about their behaviour – before you start yelling, maybe ask some questions first. Most times you’re going to be talking to some nice kids, so hold your tongue and find out more information before you start yelling. Wait a beat, get curious and strike up a conversation – NOT a lecture.

And hey, if you feel you still need to yell so you can show our teens and tweens how smart, knowledgable and powerful you are…

Well, because my son is MUCH TOO POLITE to say it, let me say it for him:

Fuck off.

Fuck all the way off.

To the teens and tweens out there – you’re doing an amazing job. Life isn’t easy for you right now and your world has been flipped upside down. I trust you to be stronger than I ever was, smarter than I wish I had been and kinder than most of the adults yelling at you.

I apologize for the adults who don’t take the time to know you. You’re incredible and our world is going to be a much better, more loving place because you’re in it, living your life and doing right for yourself and others.

My gratitude and respect to our teens and tweens – I hope you receive it from other adults – but if not, please know some of us know what a remarkable job you’re doing of growing up in these very uncertain and explosive times.

Top Tips for Working Out in the Heat

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Well – it looks like summer if FINALLY here! Well, at least in BC it is – I can’t speak for the rest of the country. I think y’all have had a heat wave for a long time now. But in BC, we made it through Junuary and Julember and we’re finally getting summer and most of us are hoping it sticks until at least October!

The heat creates a whole new added stressor on your body during your workouts and you need to be prepared for it, so I thought I’d hit you up with some tips on how to still get your workouts in when it’s hot AF out.

Here are my top tips for working out in the heat:

#1 – Drink water before, during and after your workout. Try to begin your workout in a hydrated state. If you know you’re dehydrated from say, too many margaritas the day before, perhaps today is not the day to get out into the heat to sweat.

Drink 500ml 30 minutes prior to your workout, then sip water throughout your workout under the sun and follow up with a solid 500 – 1000ml (also known as a liter) subsequent to finishing.

If you’re exercising for over 60 minutes, consider sipping on a sports drink while you workout to help replenish potassium and electrolyte levels. You could also put pink sea salt into your water (don’t gag – just a bit) – it helps with redyration.

#2 – Wear light-weight, bright clothing. Light-weight because – well, c’mon now – I don’t need to explain that one. Bright because what you wear actually reflects the sun and bright colors do the best at that. So go get your best neon, light-weight exercise clothing and HIT IT!

#3 – Timing is everything. Avoid working out between 10am – 3pm when the sun is at its hottest. Get your buns up early in the morning and get your workout done before it gets too hot OR wait until later in the evening when things have cooled down a bit.

#4 – Opt for covered or shady areas to workout. If you’re going for a run – perhaps try a trail run where the trees provide some protection from the sun. Doing a bootcamp? Make sure you find a shady spot to set up your stuff. Most instructors will find a shady park or somewhere to beat the heat, so show up early and get the best spot!

#5 – Take a cold shower BEFORE your workout. By doing this, you’ll help start your run with a cooled down body. Leave your hair wet, put your light and bright clothes on, tie up those sneakers and get out there – the wet hair look is making a comeback (or something).

#6 – Listen to your body. If you start to feel light-headed, dizzy or nauseous – babydoll, it’s time to simmer down. Decrease your intensity, keep your feet moving but back off your intensity. High intensity workouts in the sun may be too much – so you may want to think about switching things up, especially when it’s super hot out.

Perhaps now is a good time to go check out the new air-conditioned gym OR get back into the gym you used to go to (if it’s open!).

BONUS TIP – Don’t forget your sunscreen. Your glisten-y body is like that baby oil you used to put on when you were younger and will attract that sun’s rays – to protect your beautiful skin from burns and slop on the protection.

You CAN stay active during the summer months. You just need to be smart about it. Hopefully the tips above help you get out there and stay active over the summer months in a safe way.

Take care and have fun!

How Buddy Check for Jesse Saved Our Family Through Green Tape & Conversation

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Our journey with Buddy Check for Jesse started a year ago. It was one moment in time, one talk in the hockey dressing room, one game with green tape…and it changed the entire course of my son’s and my life.

If you haven’t read about our first experience with Buddy Check, please CLICK HERE and read that article first (I swear, it’s a good one).

Quick background: My son has been battling panic attacks since grade two. Thankfully we had an amazing teaching (forever grateful to Shaye Sanford) who identified his behaviour and asked if maybe, perhaps, have you ever wondered: “do you think he may have anxiety?”.

This is the face of anxiety – FYI – anxiety doesn’t “look” like anything in particular.

From there we battled. We met with counsellors, got on waitlists, were told he wasn’t “sick enough” yet. For years. His panic attacks worsened. They lengthened and they became more frequent. My son, fairly open about his anxiety, always asked me to talk to his coaches and let them know what was happening and what they could do.

So, I always have. We are brutally open about his anxiety and his panic attacks. It scares some people, but I figure…get over it and learn how to help. It’s not about you, it’s about illness and my son and how you can help coach a child who may need to be coached with understanding…so let me help you support my son.

Our coach last year was the best coach ever in the history of all coaches. His Buddy Check talk in the dressing room – about how to support one another, how to reach out, what to look for – was the best ever. He spoke about mental health challenges and how to be a safe place for your friends and family. Me? I was a weeping wreck as I listened…because this was the first time EVER I’d heard a coach talk about mental illness and how to support someone…let alone in a stinky hockey dressing room.

It was freakin’ incredible.

That moment changed our lives. From that moment, I had more courage to talk about my son’s battles. I received more support from the parents. My son received more support and understanding from his teammates. And, he continued to open up and talk, talk, talk about his mental illness.

His anxiety led to depression and although he spoke about his anxiety, he continued to battle…hard. He experienced 5-7 panic attacks that lasted 2-3 hours every week. He battled. And that, well now…that will fatigue a nervous system and eventually, it led to depression.

Finally “sick enough”, we managed to get him in to see a psychiatrist and he was officially diagnosed with multiple mental illnesses.

As he fought to recover from his illnesses, he began to focus on how to further educate about mental illness, how to further help people understand to not fear what he has to go through…and his focus went to Buddy Check for Jesse. He loves everything Stu Gershman created in loving memory of his son, Jesse Short-Gershman.

He raised $2500 for Buddy Check this year and continues to raise money through the sales of his t-shirts and hoodies (more info on how to support that HERE).

But, Buddy Check didn’t just help my son. It helped our entire family. Buddy Check was the platform that my son was able to stand on and have a purpose. He claims that Buddy Check is 25% of his life. It means that much to him and he continues to raise awareness for it.

For me…I used to quietly battle on my own, but since Buddy Check, I know I have a support system. I continue to educate…and frustratingly, sometimes my words fall on deaf ears, but I will continue to force the issue.

Buddy Check opened conversations in our family. It opened doorways to healing. It opened acceptance to lean. It opened a willingness to take a breath, accept what is, battle stronger and recover quicker.

You’re asking…seriously…one little speech in one little dressing room by one coach did all that? And I can, 100%, say yes. Yes, it did.

Last year, Buddy Check for Jesse packages were given to about 200 teams. This year, they were able to provide packages to over 1100 teams. CAN YOU IMAGINE the impact they are having right now? The Buddy Check for Jesse weekend wrapped up last weekend and it was a sea of green at most of the Bantam and PeeWee teams across BC, as well as some other province, per their request. There were also some Atom teams involved, as well!.

Stu – you’ve become a dear friend of mine and I am so honoured to help spread the good work you’re doing in any way, shape or form that I can. What you and your family have had to endure is heart-breaking and I cry with you. But, I also fight. I fight beside you and I will help bring this incredible initiative to the masses.

Because, Stu…you saved my family in more ways than you could ever possibly imagine. I am not alone. My son is recovering. We all have a purpose. And it is ALL because of green tape and short talk in a stinky hockey dressing room.

Jesse, I didn’t have the honour of meeting you but you are locked in my heart forever. I will support your family to spread the work and education that is being done in your memory as best I can. You mean a great deal to me and my family – and for that I will push and fight and battle for you.

#BuddyCheckforJesse – thank you.

For for more information on Buddy Check for Jesse, please go to www.buddycheckforjess.com.

To purchase one of Owen’s “Anxiety” hoodies or t-shirts, please CLICK HERE.

No Sugar (& STILL Yummy) Peanut Butter Cups

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Most people who know me know that the two things I love most in life (aside from my kids) are peanut butter cups and wine. Not together. But sometimes. Occasionally. Okay, a lot. Most times.

Sigh…go ahead and judge, I don’t mind.

But, there are times when I find myself cruising at mock speed on the sugar train and decide to cut added sugar for a bit to put the breaks on my sugar addiction and get back on track. That means I need to say “no!” to Reese peanut butter cups and “hi!” to these beauties.

Okay, okay…listen…I’ll be honest…they ain’t no Reese. No one, and I mean no one, can compare. However, when you’re not on sugar but you still love a sweet treat, these do the trick.

But listen up…you get ONE a day. ONE. O.N.E. Capiche?

One.

You need to keep these in your freezer, too. The fridge works too, but I like mine in the freezer.

Give ’em a whirl. You’re gonna love ’em.

No Added Sugar Peanut Butter Cups

Delicious no sugar peanut butter cups will help you curb your sweet tooth without loads of sugar and WITH good fat.
Print Recipe Pin Recipe
Prep Time 5 mins
Cook Time 15 mins
Course Dessert
Cuisine American
Servings 12

Ingredients
  

  • 2 tbsp coconut oil melted
  • 1/4 cup smooth natural peanut butter
  • 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 2 tsp stevia optional
  • 2 Tbsp coconut oil melted
  • 1/4 cup smooth natural peanut butter
  • 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp stevia optional

Instructions
 

  • Line 12 mini muffin tins with liners.

Bottom Layer

  • Melt coconut oil in a small pot on the stove.
  • Stir in next 4 ingredients (peanut butter, vanilla, cocoa powder, optional stevia.
  • Pour melted and mixed ingredients into 12 mini muffin liners.
  • Place into freezer for 5 minutes.

Top Layer

  • Melt coconut oil.
  • Stir in remaining ingredients.
  • Pour melted ingredients onto a somewhat set bottom layer.
  • Place the peanut butter cups into the freezer for at least one hour.
  • Place in an airtight container and keep in your freezer.
Keyword no sugar, peanut butter cup

#PushingForAwareness for Childhood Mental Illness- DAY 50!!! WE DID IT!

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50 days. 50 pushups. All to raise funds and awareness for childhood mental illness.

Today is Day 50 and I’m so proud to say WE DID IT! We made it through all 50 days and we did at least 50 pushups every day. There were hard days, happy days, sad days and everything in between days. There were days when we absolutely did NOT want to do pushups, but we did them anyway.

Why?

Because kids don’t get to decide what days that have a mental illness. Kids don’t get to decide if it’s a “good” day for depression or a panic attack. So, we got up and we did them. Every day for 50 days.

So far, we have raised over $4400 and have a goal of $5000. Please donate if you can!

CLICK HERE TO DONATE!

My son, age 10, diagnosed with panic disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, social anxiety and depression wants to educate everyone about childhood mental illness. He wants other families to have the resources we didn’t have as we began our battle against mental illness. He’d love his classmates, teammates and the adults in his world to understand him just a little better.

My son, age 10, fights every day against his illness and he wants people to know this is not a choice and he would give anything to not have anxiety and depression.

My son, age 10, has more grit, determination, perseverance and desire to educate about a difficult subject than 99.9% of the adults I know.

He’s done 50 pushups for 50 days and we’ve had many conversations about childhood mental illness in random places like grocery stores, baseball games and tournaments. We’ve learned a ton of terrifying stats about childhood mental illness. We’ve educated ourselves and learned about resources like FamilySmart that help families learn about helping their child with mental illness.

But the greatest thing about this campaign is the pride in my son’s face as we’ve gone through the 50 days. He checked our campaign daily to see how much money we’ve raised to help others. He’s given gratitude to those acknowledging his hard work and now…he’s asked what’s next.

Apparently, we’re not done after this campaign is over and I couldn’t be more proud of my son for wanting to continue to educate and help and let others know they’re not alone in their battle against mental illness.

He’s thinking sweatshirts. So, stay tuned for more information on that!

But for now, I’m going to revel in the fact that my son and I accomplished this goal and battled mental illness every single day of this campaign. We won every battle. Some days left us a little battered and bruised, but we’re still here, standing together and figuring it all out.

Thank you for your support. Thank you to everyone who fundraised for Owen’s campaign and thank you to everyone who donated to our campaign #PushingForAwareness.

We are humbled by your support and so very grateful to each and every person involved in our campaign…whether you donated, completed your pushups or just had a conversation with us. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.