• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

LINDSAYGEE.CA

Fitness programs, workouts and so much more to help you keep active, motivated and on track.

  • HOME
  • Fitness for Mental Health
  • Safe & Sound Protocol
  • Blog & More
    • Blog
    • Podcast Episodes
    • Videos
  • About Me
    • Speaker Opportunities
    • About Me
    • Contact Me
  • Shop

I Remember When

June 28, 2022 By Lindsay Gee Leave a Comment

I remember when I found out I was pregnant with you and I remember exactly how I felt to know I’d get to be a Mom. I felt excited, relieved and proud.

I remember when you were born. I remember peace, joy and pain.

I remember seeing your dimple for the first time and thinking you were the cutest, sweetest little thing – alien-like and all – that I’d ever seen.

I remember when you had months of cholic and I remember feeling helpless, exhausted and defeated.

I remember when you said “Mama” for the first time. That was pure love, pride and awe.

I remember when you became a brother and met your sister for the first time and I remember seeing your gentle soul instantly love and cherish the role of “big brother”.

I remember when you started preschool for the first time and hated it, so I remember pulling you out knowing you weren’t ready…WE weren’t ready.

I remember when you had your first day of kindergarten and I remember the MOMENT you let go of my hand and toddled away with your teacher and class, Cars backpack and all. That moment was simply bittersweet.

I remember when you believed in Santa, the Easter bunny and the magic surrounding it all. I also remember when the magic changed and I remember feeling sad to watch that magic go.

I remember all the days, the crafts, the sports, the concerts, the growth, the friends, the foes, the learning you did in elementary school.

I remember when we used to laugh at how dramatic I’d be when we imagined you starting high school. I would pretend to sob and throw my arms in the air and cry “My baby! My baby! He caaaaaan’t be going to high school!”. And, you’d laugh and giggle and call me “so silly”.

I remember when you used to answer “It’s a beautiful day, Mom” when I asked you what kind of day it was.

I remember when you struggled. I remember when you panicked. I remember when we didn’t understand all you were and all you are. I remember feeling hopeless in moments and constantly in awe of your strength.

I remember when we became a team that no one could beat. No one.

I remember when you continuously showed me the strength you have within yourself to get on the ice after battling and battling. I would sit in the bleachers, depleted. And I remember you – out there shimmy-shaking, smiling and letting me know you were okay.

I remember when I realized how much stronger you are than I am. And yes, yes you are.

I remember when you started middle school and I remember feeling proud of you but also terrified for you because, well, middle school is weird.

I remember when you started talking about friends I didn’t know and feeling excited for you, if not just a little left out of your life.

I remember when you stopped calling them “playdates” and started calling them “hangs”.

I remember when you stopped calling me Mommy and you called me Mother for the first and last time. Mom or Mama will do, son, I ain’t no one’s Mother.

I remember when you dyed your hair and didn’t care what others thought. I remember feeling proud of you once again.

I remember when you taught me to be open about talking about autism, mental illness and all the things people usually shy away from. I remember the moment of acceptance and releasing any stigma I had because YOU ARE THE COOLEST and why shouldn’t we talk about anything and everything?

I remember when you made me laugh with your sarcasm for the first time and I remember realizing just how very funny you are.

I remember when you hugged me and had to bend over to do so for the first time.

I remember the laughs, the tears, the frustrations, the joy, the wonder of these first years of your incredible life.

I remember feeling like I was the luckiest person in the world because you chose me to be your Mama.

I remember when it was your last day of middle school because that day is today and although yes, I want to throw my hands up in the air and hold you tight, I also cannot wait to watch you create more memories. I cannot wait to watch you become the person you’re meant to be.

I remember when I thought the days were so long and that high school was so far away. But the years are short, your life continues to march on and aren’t we unbelievably lucky for that?

I remember thinking “I wonder who he’ll be” when you were born and in this moment, I could have never ever EVER have imagined the memories you’ve imprinted in my mind and the complete and total love and respect I have for you and the person you are.

I remember when I celebrated you and your life and all you are – I remember when because that moment is exactly right now.

I love you to the moon, around the stars and back to your heart – and yes, I remember when we first started saying that to one another; you were two and I remember hoping we’d say that to one another forever. And we do.

I remember when…

All my love,
The luckiest Mom alive

Filed Under: A Word About Family, Evolution of Parenting, Uncategorized

My Son is Autistic and No, He Doesn’t “Look” Autistic

April 2, 2022 By Lindsay Gee Leave a Comment

Last year, we found the piece of the puzzle we’d been missing for my son and I’m going to share that with you today, with his permission.

If you’ve followed our journey at all over the past 7 years, you’ll know my son manages severe panic disorder, social anxiety and generalized anxiety disorder. LIKE A MOTHER F**KING rockstar, might I add.

Last year, we were struggling. Panic attacks had come back full-force, my son started to miss more days of school and signs of depression were written all over his sweet face. Your neurological system can only be in fight or flight for so long before it shuts down and then – well – hello, depression.

We managed to get in to see our psychiatrist, as I thought “He’s grown A LOT the past few years, I bet he needs to increase the dose of his meds or maybe we need to switch them up or something?”. Bear with me, I’m still learning every day about mental illness.

Our psychiatrist is THE BEST. I’m so grateful. My son and I met with her, they chatted awhile, they agreed that he had grown A LOT since his diagnosis two years prior (13 and almost 6′ tall) and an increase is meds was definitely needed. My son was then asked to leave so the doc and I could talk.

The next conversation changed our lives.

Doc: Lindsay, I’m going to ever-so-gently float an idea out for you that I’d like you to consider.

Me: Um. Ok. Always. *gets nervous because…wtf*

Doc: Have you ever considered that your son may have Autism Spectrum Disorder?

Me: *jaw drops*

Me: No. Not at all. He’s social. He has loads of friends. He plays sports. He does well in school.

Doc: Oh yes. I know this. But, I’m wondering if we’ve been so focused on his anxiety that we’re missing a piece of his puzzle. I wonder if he may be on the spectrum?

Me: I really don’t think so.

Our psychiatrist then went on to ask me a list of questions like:

  • Does he focus on one subject for awhile and speak mostly on it for month or so? Yes.
  • Does spend time trying to understand why his peers are acting a certain way? Yes.
  • Does he often fixate on a problem he is having and is unable to let it go for weeks at a time? Yes.
  • Does he worry and wonder why he doesn’t “fit in” with his peers? Yes.
  • If an issue arises, does he fixate on that and does that cause him anxiety because he doesn’t understand what he did, what went wrong or why someone might be irritated by him? Yes.

Oh. My. God.

Wait. How could we miss this?

When I talked to my friends, his teachers, his counselors, everyone…and I mean EVERYONE had the same reaction. “No way”. I’d then ask the questions to them the psychiatrist asked me and everyone immediately changed their answer to “Oh wow. How’d we miss that?”.

And so it went. We went on to get him assessed and the results were that yes, my son has autism. And holy shit, looking back, of course he does.

How’d we miss this puzzle piece?

Simple. We’re not superheroes and we cannot think of everything. I berated myself for months for not seeing this sooner. I could have been more patient over the past years. I could have been less frustrated. I could have yelled less (you know – lack of patience and all). I could have been a better Mom.

But no. That’s not right. We ALL missed this. And that’s OKAY. We got that puzzle piece now and it allows me a new perspective. I see his beautiful mind and I also see when he’s now not understanding his social disconnect.

We call it his Greek brain when he’s not really understanding a social cue. I’ll say “O, your Greek brain is on, you might just have to let this one go” and sometimes, that’s the permission he needs to let that go and not fester and worry on a situation. This has exponentially decreased his anxiety – at least I believe it has.

My son is also very open about his autism. As he is with everything about his mental health. Again, he’s a F**KING ROCKSTAR.

I do have to say though, he gets a lot of pushback from his friends when he shares that information.

“No, you’re not.”

“Shut up. No way.”

Mostly, people don’t believe him or they think he’s joking.

We were driving in the car a few weeks ago and my son made a comment about his autism and his friends said “Wait, you weren’t kidding about that? You really are?” and I confirmed with the friend that he wasn’t kidding and we all had a little chuckle. His friend then said “Huh. Cool. I thought he was just really funny”.

I saw this quote the other day:

If you’ve met one person with autism, you’ve met one person with autism.

-Unknown

I like that. Because autism has a spectrum of behaviours. No one autistic person is the same. What I would like to do is encourage you to continue to learn, as I am, about autism. I’d like to encourage you to teach your kids to not judge or refute a diagnosis when a friend shares this information. Teachers, too. We’ve had pushback there, too.

Assessments are there for a reason – for diagnosis. So, if someone has been through an assessment and they are on the spectrum, please don’t refute that with them. If someone is diagnosed with ASD, maybe just say: Cool. Is there anything you need in support or how does your autism affect your life?

Truly, it’s that simple.

Autism doesn’t have a “look”. I stared at my son’s beautiful face for 12 years. I knew him inside and out. Until I didn’t. Until we found that missing puzzle piece. I’ve always had a son with autism but now I know it and now I can honour that.

I hope you can do the same.

Filed Under: A Word About Family, Evolution of Parenting, Healthy Family, Mental Health, Uncategorized Tagged With: autism, autism awareness, childhood mental health, youth mental health

Hey Adults: Ease Up on Our T(w)eens, For The Love!

May 25, 2021 By Lindsay Gee Leave a Comment

This post is mostly for my generation…because damn…we have GOT TO CHILL when it comes to our tweens and teens.

My son, who yes, I do feel the sun rises and falls with him (but also yes, I KNOW to be a friggin’ GOOD KID because I’m told repeatedly how well-behaved and kind he is) – is constantly telling me about incidents he has with adults when he is out and about…doing wild, wild, wild things like…fishing.

Yes. Fishing.

He tells me that he gets yelled at by women “your age, Mom” about keeping his fish, that he should throw them back, etc. Or, if he’s riding his bike – ON THE MARKED PATH – that he’s being dangerous and not following the rules. Or, if he’s out and about outside, minding his business – he’s loud and disruptive. Because how DARE a tween take up space in this world.

Oh hay – OUTSIDE is where he can be loud, FYI.

So, here’s my kid – at the ripe old age of 12 having to defend himself against misinformed asshole adults who don’t know the rules and feel obliged to inform my kid he’s doing wrong, when he very much IS NOT.

Here’s my kid, GOING FISHING – not doing drugs, not smoking, not swearing, not staying indoors playing video games, not shoplifting, not bullying, not being an asshole – getting yelled at and berated for doing things that are within his rights and are LEGAL TO DO by dickhead adults who don’t know better.

He checks website, he talks to park rangers…HE KNOWS THE RULES…so fuck off and leave him be.

I think this comes from my generation because, let’s be honest, most of us were real assholes as teens. I think we believe that because we were getting drunk in the elementary school field at 14 and swearing up a storm, that “kids these days” are doing the same.

Here’s the thing: THEY AREN’T (for the most part).

“Kids these days” are smarter when it comes to stupid stuff we used to do. I have a lot of friends with older kiddos who would never ever drink and drive – which is something most of us Gen-X’er have done – and NO – we aren’t proud of it. But shiiiiiiit – that thought doesn’t even cross most kids’ minds these days. It’s not even in their decision-making repertoire. They know the damage and hurt that has caused.

Adults, us parent are doing a bang-up job with this generation that’s growing up in a pandemic. Truly, these teens and tweens are exceptional. So, let’s give them a little credit, a little freedom and a little runway to be…teens and tweens.

WE HAVE GOT TO CHILL.

Leave the kids alone. Unless they’re swearing and doing something awful to someone else – LET THEM BE.

Mind your own business. Nine times out of ten teens and tweens know the rules better than we do – because – THEY GOOGLE IT BEFORE THEY GO ANYWHERE. Our kids are the most informed kids of all generations and we, as adults, need to grow with them and understand that NOT ALL TEENS ARE BAD.

So, if you’re concerned about their behaviour – before you start yelling, maybe ask some questions first. Most times you’re going to be talking to some nice kids, so hold your tongue and find out more information before you start yelling. Wait a beat, get curious and strike up a conversation – NOT a lecture.

And hey, if you feel you still need to yell so you can show our teens and tweens how smart, knowledgable and powerful you are…

Well, because my son is MUCH TOO POLITE to say it, let me say it for him:

Fuck off.

Fuck all the way off.

To the teens and tweens out there – you’re doing an amazing job. Life isn’t easy for you right now and your world has been flipped upside down. I trust you to be stronger than I ever was, smarter than I wish I had been and kinder than most of the adults yelling at you.

I apologize for the adults who don’t take the time to know you. You’re incredible and our world is going to be a much better, more loving place because you’re in it, living your life and doing right for yourself and others.

My gratitude and respect to our teens and tweens – I hope you receive it from other adults – but if not, please know some of us know what a remarkable job you’re doing of growing up in these very uncertain and explosive times.

Filed Under: Evolution of Parenting, Uncategorized

Anyone Else Got a Case of the Blahs/Fatigue/Overwhelm/Grief/Hope?

April 29, 2021 By Lindsay Gee Leave a Comment

You know those moments when you don’t really know how you’re feeling so it’s like you’re feeling everything? I don’t know whether I’m depressed, covid-fatigued, life-overwhelmed, sad, missing my Mama, hopeful for our future or what…but damn…today I can’t seem to pinpoint how I’m feeling in this world.

I’ve spent the past two days trying to nail down my emotions and dive into my actual thoughts and feelings but I think what I really need to do is write it out. I haven’t written for awhile, so perhaps this is the therapy I need.

I write this for myself but, always an over-sharer, I’ll most likely post it on the blog for the haters to hate and lovers to love. I’ll listen to both because – well – I am who I am.

I hate Covid.
I hate the rules.
I hate not knowing what’s okay and what’s not.
I hate overthinking every tiny thing.
I hate my impatience.

I worry about peoples’ mental health.
I worry for my kids and their mental health.

I’m overwhelmed by all the emotions I go through each and every day.
I’m overwhelmed by all the emotions we ALL go through each and every day.

I ‘m done with the negativity.
I’m done with judgement.

I love science yet I worry about what’s right and wrong.

I miss faces.
I miss smiling at people.
I MISS HUGGING PEOPLE.
I miss my Mama.
I miss my Daddio.
I miss my ugly brothers.
I also miss traveling.

I love this extra time with my family.
It also drives us all banans.

I’m grateful to be healthy.
I’m grateful to be loved.
I’m grateful for good hair days.
I’m grateful for my daughter who randomly bakes the best cookies in the world.

I hate the days when I don’t feel anything.
I hate the days when I feel everything.

I’m hopeful for my son and the puzzle piece we’ve found.
I’m proud of my son’s strength and determination as he moves through middle school.

I’m hopeful for my daughter and the light she brings to this world.
I’m grateful for her loud love and all-encompassing support.

I’m sick of seeing people not following health orders and seeing the numbers go up.

I’m tired of the blame game.

I hate saying “no” to my kids when they ask for sleepovers.

I hate this fucking pandemic but am grateful for the lessons we’ve learned.

I love my family.
I love that our family is a team.
I love our mornings all together – ones we wouldn’t have if we were rushing off to get to work.
I love working from home.

I hate working from home.
I hate the bickering.
I hate reminding my kids to pick up their damn dishes.
I hate the monotonous day to day.

I dream of this being over.
I dream of all-inclusive trips to Mexico to restore and rest.
I dream of hugging my friends and family.
I dream of our girls weekend away with loads of cheese and wine, yoga and surfing.

I’m annoyed all the time.

I have little to no patience.

I have all the patience in the world.

I have no idea who I am any longer.

I know 100% who I am.

Phewf. See what I mean – ALL OVER THE MAP!

Can anyone relate? Just me? I wouldn’t think so.

So, I’ll end with this: I could have written all day long about the things I I’m grieving for, the love I feel, the overwhelm that rolls over me or the gratitude I cherish. So I guess in those moments we need to pause and remember that maybe we don’t have to analyze all the emotions all the time. Maybe, just maybe, we can give ourselves some grace and just…feel.

Let emotion swallow us for a moment. Wallow there. Then look for the light within…the light you need to make it through. Then, hold onto the light and let it beam out of your heart and into your soul – if only for a moment. Take those small moments of light and let them lead us through this into a better, more understanding, more compassionate place.

Or not.

Fuck if I know. Sheesh.

Filed Under: A Word About Family, A Word About Health & Fitness, Healthy Family, Mental Health

Dear Parents: This Sucks & We’ll Be Okay

November 19, 2020 By Lindsay Gee Leave a Comment

Pandemic.

Before March 2020, if you’d asked me what a pandemic was I would know that it was global, not awesome and pretty tragic. Now, in November 2020, 8 months into a pandemic I 100% know that a pandemic is global, not awesome and extremely tragic.

I’m sure I was taught about the Spanish Flue in Social Studies in my youth but it pretty much went in one ear and out the other – much like my knowledge of Canadian history, it isn’t something I’ve retained in this brain of mine. But, I’ve read about the Spanish Flu now and yup – that pandemic sucked, too.

Spanish Flu: 1918 – 1920

I was doing a comparison – because don’t we all love to compare our suffering to others – and I came up with: (buckle up, I’m about to blow your minds) pandemics suck no matter when they happen. Sure, times have changed – but overall – pandemics change our lives on a global scale whether they happend in 1918 or 2020 – pandemics are horrible, horrible things.

As a parent, I must say – Covid-19 can suck some big balls. We all have pandemic fatigue – we’re tired of the rules, masks, social distancing. We’re exhausted from trying to figure out if we can go in so-and-so’s house or figure out bubbles (and who knew a cute word like “bubble” could cause so much stress now?!) because the rules change so often.

Remember when we could just…go out? Drop by? HUG? I see people shake hands on t.v. and I instantly flinch and think “c’mon, man…COVID!”.

WTF, Lindsay – get it together.

I must say our kids are handling this whole thing well, aren’t they? For now. I mean – my house is a bit of a shitshow – we’re battling depression and anxiety – parents and kids – so it’s a slog of mental and physical health check-ins on the daily.

I digress.

Listen up, parents:

Yes, this sucks.
Yes, we all hate this.
Yes, the rules are hard to follow.
Yes, working from home is hard.
Yes, going to work is hard.
Yes, making dinner sucks.
Yes, laundry still sucks.
Yes, kids are needy right now.
Yes, we, as parents, are needy.
Yes, outbursts from your kids are normal.
Yes, outbursts from your soul are normal.
Yes, feeling sad and missing your old life is normal.
Yes, not hugging sucks in the most suckiest of all sucky ways.
Yes, parenting in a pandemic is really FUCKING HARD.
Yes, you can breakdown.
Yes, you can shower cry.
Yes, you DO have to pick yourself back up each and every day.
Yes, you HAVE to be strong.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, YES. You have to do it all.

But parents, we’re going to be okay.

Quick idea though – how about you show yourself and others a little compassion? A little grace? Emphasis on the “YOURSELF”.

We haven’t done this pandemic thing before. So – yell and rage if you need to, then pull yourself together by any and all means possible – and live the next day.

We’re all going to need A LOT of therapy after all this but I figure if at the end of the day you’re still alive, your kids are still alive and you managed to find joy in the mini-moments – we’re going to be okay.

Find your mini-moments, parents….those are the moments that are going to get us through this pandemic and make it all…just…okay.

Filed Under: A Word About Family, A Word About Health & Fitness, Evolution of Parenting, Family Fitness, Healthy Family, Mental Health

  • Go to page 1
  • Go to page 2
  • Go to page 3
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Go to page 59
  • Go to Next Page »

About Lindsay

Lindsay is a health warrior, passionate about supporting others to find their best life and filling her days with a business she loves, a community of women she cherishes and a family she loves with her entire heart and soul. Read more...

Contact Me

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Our Most Popular Posts

  • 7 Things You Should Say to Yourself Before You Workout
    7 Things You Should Say to Yourself Before You Workout
  • Question to Ask Your Postpartum Friends - Signs for Postpartum Depression
    Question to Ask Your Postpartum Friends - Signs for Postpartum Depression
  • Spring Cleaning Your Fitness Equipment with Pine-Sol Spring Blossom
    Spring Cleaning Your Fitness Equipment with Pine-Sol Spring Blossom
  • So You Want a Metabolic Workout? Try this HIIT Workout Today!
    So You Want a Metabolic Workout? Try this HIIT Workout Today!
  • Healthy Chili Recipe! Turkey, Sweet Potato & Butternut Squash Chili
    Healthy Chili Recipe! Turkey, Sweet Potato & Butternut Squash Chili
  • Too Tired to Give a F**k
    Too Tired to Give a F**k

Categories

  • A Word About Business
  • A Word About Family
  • A Word About Health & Fitness
  • Anti Chef Recipes
  • Business
  • Evolution of Parenting
  • Family Fitness
  • Growing A Business
  • Health & Fitness
  • Healthy Family
  • Highs & Lows
  • Let's Workout
  • Mental Health
  • Podcast Episodes
  • Products We Love
  • Tips & Tricks
  • Uncategorized
© 2023 LINDSAYGEE.CA | Website by LL
 

Loading Comments...