There are moments in your life when you need to step back and reflect. You need to reflect hard. I mean turn into yourself and evaluate who you are, what you’re doing, the person you are and the person you want to be. These times and evaluations will be a product of another moment that will make you question everything. These are tough times. But, I’m recognizing that these moments are critical to growth. I’m embracing the reflection and loving my conclusion.
I’ve previously written about what it’s like to be an entrepreneur. What it’s like to be the Founder of a company like Hot Mama. It’s all-consuming, empowering, inspiring…it’s all I am. I can say that because my family is heavily involved in what I do. But, I need to be honest here, it’s also incredibly lonely.
Building an empire of women, amazing women, strong women, smart women, driven women…well, it’s an honour and one I don’t take for granted ever. But, it’s still my baby. If something goes wrong, I’m blamed. If they fail. I fail. If a promotion fails, it’s my fault. If a program flops, that’s on my shoulders. It’s a lot of weight and a lot of pressure, but I accept it and I carry the burden. Some days the burden takes over, it knocks me flat and presses me down hard into the earth. Some days I lift it over my head and sprint. That’s what being the founder of a company is like.
Recently I’ve had to reflect on the person I am becoming. Am I good person? Am I kind? Am I thoughtful? And, the truthful answer is…most times. Not always. And, that’s the growth and reflection I’ve had to make these past few weeks.
Am I the same person I was 4.5 years ago when I started Hot Mama? No. Absolutely not. And, do I want to go back to being that person? No. 100% absolutely not. Why? Because, that person didn’t have the dreams I have today. She didn’t see the possibilities and the opportunties. She didn’t believe in herself. She didn’t have a mission. That person had no idea how her little bootcamp classes could change the world. Because I have started to do that. And so help me, we will change this world. One Mama, one Mini, one family at a time.
And I’ll do it because I now have a strong squad of women behind me.
But, here’s the problem: Has the core person, the person who I truly am, changed so much that I don’t recognize myself any longer?
The answer: no. I know me. I recognize me. You may not, but I do. I’m here.
I’m me. I’m goofy and silly and quirky and I love to laugh. But, when it comes to my business, my expectations are high. My expectations are obscenely high. And, I’ve finally realized that I have every right to have them there. If I want to create a movement of family fitness, if I want to change 1000’s, no…millions of women’s lives…my expectations NEED to be high. I’m demanding in my business. I work tirelessly. I dig and drive and push. And you know what? I’m finally okay with being the founder of a company who’s a bit of a hardass.
Why? Because…it’s who I am. And not accepting this part of me would hold me back. I don’t want to be the person I was 4.5 years ago…I want to be me. Here. Now. As I am. In all my demands. In all my expectations. In all my gratitude. Because although I’m demanding and my expectations are high as the founder of a rapidly growing company, I’m also so freakin’ grateful. I’m grateful for the growth of my company. I’m thankful for the women who’ve joined me. I’m grateful for the Hot Mama themselves who commit to health and active living. I’m grateful that I get to be nerdy and silly and that I get to laugh at myself.
I’m 100% grateful for the person I am today. I refuse to question that any longer. There’s business Lindsay and there’s personal Lindsay. One may not recognize the other, but they’re both still who I am. They both have dreams and goals. They both work hard and strive for greatness. The change now is that I accept both parts of me. I fought the business side for so long, but acceptance means growth. And, I accept who I am. I love who I am. I’m proud of who I am.
When you dig into yourself and evaluate all aspects of who you are, greatness can happen. I am greatness. I am greatness because of the women standing with me. I am greatness because I believe in what I am doing. I am greatness because I have evolved and learned and grown into a person with exceptionally high standards. I am greatness because I finally refuse to apologize for dreaming big and making it happen. I encourage you to accept your greatness. It’s incredibly freeing.
I am so grateful for these past few weeks. For the hard questions I had to ask myself. I’m grateful that I had the courage and strength to actually look into myself. I’m mostly grateful that that courage came from the community I’ve helped build. It is because of you, my Hot Mamas, that I continue to grow and push myself. You may not recognize me in business mode, but you’ll always recognize me over a glass of wine and some peanut butter cups.
With mad respect and gratitude,
Lindsay (Your OHM)
You’re so right. Never apologize for dreaming big and making it happen. We can achieve great things without being a horrible person, but we can’t do it without high expectations.
Thank you! It’s the balance of “Am I a horrible person or is it just high expectations?” that I was struggling with .I’m crystal clear now. Thanks for understanding. 🙂 xo
I think high expectations can be a blessing because they push us to be our best selves. I love your perspective 🙂