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Showing Positivity & Giving Gratitude: The Power Couple

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I’ve written previously about the power of positivity and gratitude but, I think it’s time for a bit of a reminder. Recently, I feel like I’ve been surrounded by Eeyores. And no, I’m not talking about being depressed (because we all know the little fella could use some good exercise to help lift him up). I’m talking about focusing only on the bad and forgetting to focus on the positive. I’m talking about forgetting to give, and yes, even receive gratitude.

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While I absolutely think that you should vent and reach out and ask for help, I also think there are ways for you to help yourself. Life is hard. Business is hard. Motherhood is hard. No one has ever, ever told us differently. So, buck up, everyone. Get to work. And start with some positivity and some gratitude.

Whine, complain, bitch all you want…but then do something about it. Don’t just sit on your ass and think other people are going to lift you up and hold you there. Our arms get tired, there’s no way we can do it on our own. Do something.

Luckily, there are some fairly easy ways for you to begin to help yourself. The simplest thing you can start doing and doing right now is to start putting the power couple of positivity and gratitude to work for you. Shed a little positivity in your own world. Acknowledge and be grateful for the gifts (no matter how small) you have in your life. You may find it difficult at first, particularly if you’re really struggling, but take some baby steps and start doing the work. [Read more…] about Showing Positivity & Giving Gratitude: The Power Couple

5 “Easy” Way to Curb Your Sweet Tooth and Stop Snacking

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You know you’re supposed to have a break from eating, right? There’s supposed to be a time during the day when you’re not actually shoving food in your face. You’re not supposed to graze all day, you aren’t a cow. And, if I hear one more person tell me that grazing all day is good for them, I’ll probably smack them. I hope it’s not you. It doesn’t matter if it’s “healthy” snacks and meals, your body needs time to digest what you have already eaten, so give it a chance. Stop the grazing and snacking craze. It’s so 1990’s.

I want to set some very clear guidelines for you when it comes to how often you should be eating. Crystal clear. You should be eating every 2-4 hours. That means there should be a 2-hour space, minimum, and no more than 4 hours between your meals and snacks. That means there are two-hour blocks every day when you’re not putting food in your mouth. TWO HOURS. It’s time to stop snacking and mindlessly eating because it adds up.

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If you’re a constant grazer, having a 2-hour span of time when you’re not eating may be hard at first, but it won’t take long for your body to adjust. However, the power and habit of food are extremely strong, so here are 5 ways to help stop snacking yourself silly:

#1 – Pre-plan for snacking

Until you’re in the habit of taking the 2-hour break from eating, planning is going to be your best strategy. Sit down at the beginning of your week and plan all of your meals and snacks. Yes, this takes time and the first few weeks you may not know what you’re doing, but start with a timing plan. Decide what time you’ll be eating and decide what time your meals and snacks will be. Usually, the cycle is meal, snack, meal, snack, meal, BED.

#2 – Drink water & Herbal Tea

A lot of times people eat for a number of reasons: they’re bored, they’re angry, they’re sad, etc. But, one of the most common reasons people are “hungry” all the time is because they’re dehydrated. They’re thirsty, not hungry. So be sure to carry your water bottle with you and actually drink from it. Carrying it around with you does no good. If you find plain water to be unpalatable, throw some fresh fruit in there to give it a little kick.

You can also try herbal teas. These are particularly useful when you have a sweet tooth. There are A LOT of delicious teas out there that contain no sugar but help curb your sweet tooth. Personally, I like Steeped Tea and the one to curb my sweet tooth is called “Cinnamon Hearts”.

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#3 – Distract yourself – Go workout

I always find it funny how thinking about food can be a major part of our day, especially when we’re trying to change the particularly “bad” habit of eating all day. During the hours when you’re not supposed to be eating, you’ll be thinking about your next snack or meal and counting down the minutes have until you “get” to eat again.

Try to break that cycle. If you find yourself drifting towards daydreaming about your next snack, or you keep going to the fridge or lunch bag to stare at it, it’s time to distract yourself. And, the easiest way to do that is to exercise. If you don’t have time to go for a workout, find a way to do a 5-minute blast. You can try our 5-minute Flicker. Once you’re done, settle back into work or whatever you were doing and focus on that.

Even better? Get 30 minutes in! Exercise can curb your appetite. And, all the water you’re drinking during your workout also helps to curb your urge to nosh – yay added bonus!

#4 – Misery loves company

Make this change with someone and have an accountability partner. Reach out to your partner when you’re about to say “I’m starving, screw this…”. There’s something wonderful about receiving a text from a friend that says “NO…don’t you dare”. There’s solidarity in misery. Not that taking breaks from eating is a misery, but for some, it’s really hard.

And, if you’re trying to eat fewer sweets, having someone text you to “put the damn cookie down RIGHT NOW” will not only make you laugh but will help you refocus. If you’ve never had an accountability partner before, try it. It really does help. Not used to leaning on someone? Get over it. What you’ve been doing in the past hasn’t worked, so why not try something new? Hmmmm? Riddle me that.

#5 – Go to bed

Okay, if it’s the middle of the day, this isn’t my best advice. But, for my late-night snackers, this is the best advice I ever received when I changed my eating habits. If you know that at 9pm you go off the rails, just go to bed. It’s that easy. Walk past the fridge, blow it a kiss and go to bed. 8pm? Great. Go to bed. I’m not kidding about this one, this is the best advice I can ever give you. Not only will you get more sleep, you’ll stop that calorie-filled late night snacking.

During the day, you can’t go to bed. Unless you’re a shift worker, then yes, go to bed. But for everyone else who cannot go to bed when the snack monster invades your mind, try simple deep breathing exercise. Breathe in for 5 seconds, hold your breath for 5 seconds, exhale for 5 seconds. Repeat for at least 3 minutes. It helps. Once you’re done with your breathing exercise, get back to work, or parenting, or whatever. Clear your mind of the snack monster and refocus (see #3)

Alright, party people. It’s time to commit to a new way of eating. Can you do it? OF COURSE YOU CAN! I highly recommend you keep a food journal, it’s eye opening and can help keep you on track and accountable.

Good luck out there! You can do it! Start fueling your body with food. Food is there to help you function and live, not for convenience and emotion-smothering. More on that another time…

Off you go!

I’m Getting Older & It Kinda Sucks

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I know, I know…I’m supposed to embrace my age. I’m supposed to celebrate every year, every wrinkle, my droopy boobs and my age spots. Well, you know what?! I don’t want to. I just don’t. There are things about getting older that really kinda suck.

Sure, I’m still alive and that’s amaaaaazing, the alternative is terrible. I have a good life. I loooooove my work, my kids, my friends and my family. I love everything about what’s been going on. And yes, everything I’ve experienced has brought me to this place in my life. But you know what? There are things that all you 20-somethings don’t know and I’m about to shed some light on what you should be taking advantage of now.

Freedom:

Freedom. Let’s talk freedom, shall we? To put it bluntly, it goes away as you get older (I’m told you get it back, but I’m not there yet…the circle of life and all that). Currently, at 38, it’s gone. Really and truly, gone. Good-bye. Signora. Au revoir. Gone. Afternoon walks with your girlfriends down by the beach with your delicious calorie-dense coffee? Gone. Impromptu nights out? Gone. You’ll need to plan at least 3 months in advance to schedule, yes schedule a night out with your girlfriends. Trust me. Three months, minimum. Wanna spend the afternoon floating on a lake with your gals and some bevies? Keep dreaming.

Alcohol:

Blessed, blessed alcohol. You know how you can currently drink 12 shots, all the vodka slimes in the world and a bottle of wine…and get up and go for a run in the morning? Yeah no. That goes away, too. The reality is, as you get older, even one glass of wine drags you down. Gasp. What? Again, not kidding. One glass of wine and you’ll have a crummy sleep and wake up feeling groggy and hungover. If you DO actually manage to schedule a girls night, I have three words for you: three-day hangover. I’m not exaggerating. Day 1 is hell. Day 2 is mid-grade hell. And day 3 is what your current hangovers feel like. Remember, coffee is good. So good. So very good.

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Metabolism:

Now, let’s talk metabolism and getting older. Enjoy the nachos, burgers, booze, chocolate and candy now. Eat it. Willy nilly. Do it while you can. Because as I stare 40 in the face, if I so much as think about a peanut butter cup my thighs seem to sigh and expand with simple anticipation. What used to take me a week to lose 5lbs now takes me a month.

There will be an age when you notice your metabolism change. For most, it happens in your early 30’s. For me, it was age 32. I know exactly when it changed because that was the age I realized I couldn’t just “think” my way into a flat belly. So, I’ve been changing my workouts to combat the slow-down ever since. It’s possible, it just takes some knowledge of what to do. For now, all you calorie-burning little fireballs…enjoy it. Burn while you can. Cuz your 30’s are about to put that little fire out.

Just a couple more things to tell you about, I mean, I could write a book, but these will do for now.

Your face:

This one a struggle with. When you get older you start to look, well older. Does anyone else catch a glimpse at themselves in the mirror and jump? I mean, who is that haggard, tired, old woman. OMG…that’s me.

I need a facial. But there’s no time. You’ll start thinking that maybe botox wouldn’t be so bad and having a forehead that doesn’t move could be okay. You’ll start pulling your face back at the hairline to pull your eyes up and de-wrinkle your face just so you can see the younger version of you. You’ll drink a ton of water because…well…it’s supposed to help with wrinkles (it does, but not to the extent that you need!).

Oh yes, all you porcelain-skinned non-wrinkled cherubs…enjoy it. Because gravity is a real bitch and she’s going to wreak havoc on you. Face, boobs, belly and all. HAVOC.

Quick reflection:

Now listen, getting older isn’t all bad. I mean, physically it’s mostly bad. Your metabolism will slow way down, joints hurt and it’ll take longer to recover from your workouts. You’ll crack and creak and to be honest, at some point, you’ll probably injure yourself doing something as simple as jumping off a ledge.

Now, where was I…

PMS:

I was about to forget to mention one last kinda terrible thing about getting older: PMS gets out of control. You think you’re emotional now? Wait for it. I’m sure there is a well-documented hormone shift that I could research, but I’m tired, so I won’t. Let me just let you know that the irritability and length of PMS as you get older seems to quadruple. Best to just stay in your room in the dark with wine when this happens.

It’s best for everyone if you just stay away for the week of PMS you’ll go through. Yes. Week. Of. PMS.

Summary:

Honestly, there are great things about getting older. Really great things. For the life of me, I can’t think of them at the moment (you also start forgetting things). So, just go enjoy your youth. Take advantage of it! LIVE! Be free! Don’t question everything, just go along for the ride.

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Life changes and age happens. And thankfully so. But all you young-uns out there…it’s not all awesome. Be forewarned. It takes time to recover, from everything, as you get older.

 

Use Your Weight Gain for Good, Not Evil

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Honestly, I could really do without all the guilt around gaining weight. I could rip-it-to-pieces-crumple-it-up-stomp-on-it-burn-it-and-blow-the-ashes-into-a-sewer-do without all the guilt around gaining weight. The shame, the embarrassment, the self-loathing. I can do without all of it. Especially when I hear it come from strong, sensible, wonderful, empowered women.

Why do we do that? We gain weight and all of a sudden we hate ourselves, our bodies, our place in this world. We slouch down, cover our bodies, turn our heads and cry. Why? Because it feels awful and we’re embarrassed. And that’s the part that’s bugging me.

It’s not the uncomfortable part of gaining weight that’s bugging me. OF COURSE we feel uncomfortable!  We know what it’s like to feel good, to be healthy, to fit into clothes. We know how it feels when someone says “HOLY S**T…you look fabulous!”. I mean, that just feels nice. We stand a little taller, walk a little proud. We’re simply more confident.

And no, I’m not talking about being or getting “skinny”. I detest that word, as many do (stay tuned for a new campaign in January). But, it just feeeeels good to be healthy. Clothes fit. Skin glows. Energy is high. We sleep better. We’re lighter…physically, mentally, emotionally. All because we’re healthy.

And being the opposite of that…well…it feeeeels bad. I get it. Trust me, I do. You eat terrible food and feed your body poorly. You don’t move your body like you should. Your jeans and shirts are too tight so you live in leggings and tunics. You avoid seeing people you haven’t seen for awhile because you know when you leave they’re going to say “holy smokes, she’s really gained weight”.

Trust me. I know. I’m 10lbs heavier right now than I like to be. And while my gain has a lot to do with medical issues I’m having, nobody wants to hear about that and I certainly don’t want to get into it. So, I shirk back, hate getting my picture taken and shame myself to my good friends and my mind all day long.

Well…I used to. But, over the past few weeks I’ve had so many women confide in me about their embarrassment over gaining weight. They ask how I don’t berate myself over the weight gain that I’m so open about and how do I push through? The answer: well, I do. I do berate myself. I talk down to myself. I pinch my belly fat, shudder and call myself “Fattie”.

But I’m done with that crap. I realize I push through and get back to healthy for one simple reason: I love being healthy. The thing about gaining weight is that it puts you in a place to reflect on how good being healthy feels, particularly coming from a time when you’re really not feeling healthy at all. I’m using my knowledge of what it’s like to feel healthy and fit to motivate me. I’m letting it be the driving force to help me get back to feeling amazing. You can do it too.

Weight gain can be a major trigger for a slide into depression…so…this is when you need to start reflecting on what it feels like to be healthy. I’m serious. Do this exercise right now:

  1. Take out a pen and paper.
  2. Think about how you feel right now.
  3. Write 10 sentences about how you feel about your health and your body right now; the more raw and real you can get here, the better. Don’t soften it. Be tough and be honest with yourself. I know you have a “weight-gain-berating-reel-of-crap” you say to yourself. Write down the words you say to yourself in the anger and quietness of your mind. Write the words you would be appalled to say out loud if someone else was listening. Pen to paper, write those words down. Every single ugly word.
  4. Read those 10 sentences once, all together.
  5. Have a little cry, it’s okay. This is hard. Now…get mad.
  6. Cross those sentences out and promise yourself for the next 4 weeks you’re not going to say those sentences again.
  7. Now, reflect back on a time when you felt healthy & strong.
  8. If you don’t have a time in your life when you’ve felt healthy & strong, visualize what you think it’ll feel like.
  9. Write down 10 sentences about how you feel when you feel healthy and strong. Strong words. Powerful words. Motivating words. Words of love and confidence. Find those words and write them all down.
  10. Read them. Read them at least three times. Highlight them. Star them. Put hearts around them. Love yourself.
  11. Put them somewhere you can read them (at your bedside table, on your fridge, in your workout bag, wherever).
  12. Now…get to work.

Sure, you can dwell on your weight gain. You can crucify yourself and berate yourself until the cows come home (that’s a long time, cows are lazy). You can make yourself feel like the worst person in the history of people (I highly recommend you don’t do this). You can trudge through your own misery and self-dislike (I won’t use the word hatred, but I know some of you are there), or…

OR…you can get to work. You can come at it from a place of acceptance and love. Come at it from a place of getting you back to feeling healthy and strong. Gaining weight…it happens to the majority of us. Sometimes it’s medical and sometimes it’s laziness. Sometimes it’s just about lettin’ the good times roll. Sometimes it’s the fact that life has gotten in the way and you’ve forgotten how important you are. I won’t accept that it’s a lack of time. I draw a very thick, bold line there.

Turn your weight gain into a positive. It’s tough, but you can. Reflect on how you feel right now and move forward. Remember the power you used to have when you were fit and healthy. Remember the confidence. Remember the pride. That’s how it feels to be healthy and strong.

Gaining weight happens. Oh yes it does, but how you come out of it and get back to healthy is up to you. I highly recommend proper nutrition and exercise. No shakes, diets, pills, wraps, no magic. Just you, your list, determination and confidence. Stop berating yourself and start remembering how you can feel. You can do it. It’s time to get back to healthy. It’s time to get back to pride. It’s time to get back to confidence.

I’ve got you. If you need me, I’m here. Trust in that. 100%. I’m here.

6 Ways to Help You Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

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Change doesn’t happen unless you do. How many times have you heard that?

Or, change happens outside your comfort zone. How about that one? You’ve heard that one, right?

And, as much as we know it, acknowledge it and “like” all the quotes and memes on Facebook about it, change and being outside your comfort zone is hard. It’s really hard. But, there will be a time in your life when you’ll have to accept that something’s gotta give and you’re going to need to step out of your bubble and go way past your comfort zone.

The power of letting go and moving yourself toward your goals is yours. It’s yours if you choose to dig in, step out and expose your vulnerabilities. You need to respect your limitations but push your boundaries and your comfort zone.

Think of your comfort zone like a balloon. You can expand it by putting more into it and you can shrink it by giving up and letting go. You can also pop it if you push too far. The further you try to push yourself out of your comfort zone, the harder it is. But it’s okay. You’re supposed to push. You’re supposed to constantly expand. Trust me. [Read more…] about 6 Ways to Help You Get Out of Your Comfort Zone