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Dear Depression…

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Dear Depression,

Well, hey there. I see you’re back. I hadn’t noticed you creep back into my life, but there you are. I’ve been feeling off for a few months now and rationalized it with nerves, exhaustion and yes, even allergies. But no. It’s you, isn’t it? You’re back. And you’re stronger this time.

Well, darkness. So. Am I.

We’ve been here. We’ve gone through this before. I didn’t think I’d have to see you again. Last time you were based on injury. But, I see it’s time for us to battle once again. 

It’s not okay, you know. What you do. It’s not okay. You’re a real asshole.

You’re a pitch black hole of loneliness, doubt, anxiety and sadness. But that’s not all you are. You’re anger, too. 

Oh depression, you have such strength, such power. But, I will control you now. Now that I recognize that you’ve seeped back into my body, taken over my heart, my soul. For me, you’re black blood that travels through my body at lightning speed, infecting and spreading your sorrow, anger and doubt so quickly it takes my breath away.

You’re not slow, you’re fast. You work quickly. You zing around my body controlling my thoughts, filling me with doubt and causing me to think irrational thoughts. Yes depression, you do that. You make me believe things that aren’t true. You fill my head with scenarios and feelings and so much anger I could scream.

And yes, while my brain understands what you’re doing. While I listen to person after person tell me I’m being ridiculous, well, Depression, you’re louder than those voices. And, for reasons I don’t understand, my head and stomach, well, they listen to you. They’re under your speedy and warped spell.

You make me sick. Literally. I shake, I cry, I rage and this hole in my stomach? It just won’t go away.

For me, you’re the darkest of dark holes. But it’s not a comforting hole for me. It’s nowhere I want to be. Now, I realize for some people you cause them to want to hunker down in your darkness, pull over the covers, make a nest and sleep for days, for weeks, for months. 

But for me, you make me want to do burpees and sprint and sweat in your darkness. I’m in the pit of your darkness running intervals and bouncing off your goddam walls. I’m so angry and sad and deflated and defeated. That’s your power.

These negative thoughts won’t stop. This hole in my stomach won’t close.

That’s your power.

You’re a menacing darkness with teeth that nash at my insecurities and take pieces of me every time I meet you. 

You’re unwelcome, you all-powerful asshole. And I will find a way through you once again.

You see, I have help. 

I have a community of people who support me, inspire me and believe in me. I have a family who hugs me, loves me, reaches for me. I have kids who brighten even my darkest days. So even though I’m sweating it out down in your deep darkness, when my kids are around their sunbeams reach me. It may look like the smallest of small beams of light, but I feel the light. It calls to me. It’s stronger than you.

So, fuck you. I’m gripping and clawing my way towards the light. No, I’m sprinting toward it. I will rely on physical activity to get me through this. And if that doesn’t work? If you’ve pulled me that much further down this time? I’m not afraid of the pills made to help people dig out of this. 

I won’t wear the badge of horror you want me to wear.

Sometimes you’re too strong and outside help is needed. And I’m at the place now where I realize reaching out for help isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength.

So, fuck you once again. I’m done with your darkness. I’m done making you believe I’m not good enough. I’m done being mad and angry and raging all the time, even if it’s only on the inside. I deserve better and I will find a way to get better.

I’m sure we’ll meet again. But know this…I will never give in completely to you. I am stronger than you. I will beat you time and time and time again. 

I know I don’t always realize you’re there right away, but when I do, my ugly, disgusting depression, I will fight and claw and dig your eyes out. I will fill you with joy and love and light and cover the dark hole you’ve made me struggle out of.

I will stand at the top of your dark tunnel down and dance to Dolly Parton on your grave. I will laugh and rejoice and celebrate the strength and control I have over my own body, heart and soul.

I’m not there just yet. But I will be. So prepare for the end. I’m about done feeling the way you make me feel. Help is on the way and I am beyond ready to reach for it.

Fuck you, you dark asshole. You’re unwanted here.

I’m ready for the light. 

Lindsay

 

Wanna See My New Logo?!

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I had A LOT of feedback and opinions as I decided on my Lindsay Gee logo and I cannot thank you enough! Who knew y’all had so much to say about it?! I was blown away by the number of messages and texts I received yesterday, not to mention all the comments on the blog itself and on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram! BOOM!

The most interesting part? You had questions. A lot of you asked the symbolism of the feather. Or what the blog is for. How do I want to expand and grow? It was humbling to know that you follow what I do so closely and that I…well…I mean something to you. This means something to you. It was humbling and beautiful and put any doubts I may have had running through my head at ease.

The community of Hot Mama is incredible and the purpose of Lindsay Gee is to expand on that. Grow that. Help more and do more. Be more. I want to live every moment for my family, my community and I want to be a better person who loves, inspires and motivates. I realize I do a lot of that already, but it’s not to the extent I want or need to feel successful. Until every woman out there loves her body, there’s still much work to do. 

Without further adieu, my sweets, the Lindsay Gee logo is:

Some changes that were made:

You’ll notice it’s a bit different than the one you were choosing from. The text is now PURPLE and yes, the little dot is pink. Why pink? Because I will always and forever be connected to Hot Mama. Hot Mama is my baby, my dream, and while I expand myself, I’m also working tirelessly to expand Hot Mama and find new franchise owners to help me change the face of fitness and motivate a globe to get moving…as a family. So yeah, there had to be pink.

But, just a dot. Because that’s all Andrea would do. LOL

Why the feather? 

Simple. I see feathers everywhere I go. They randomly show up in my house, they float by as I walk around, people have gifted me feather jewelry for a long time and when I first started franchising Hot Mama, I gifted my new owners with feather earrings. I don’t know why. I just did. And feathers are now simply a part of who I am, like wine and peanut butter cups.

Whenever I see a feather I feel as though something bigger and grander is taking care of me and there is solace there. 

I have a fairly stressful life trying to build this Hot Mama (and now Lindsay Gee) empire, so to know I’m being taken care of by the greater universe? Well, there’s comfort there. And that’s why the feather is in my logo. As the universe and my angels take care and watch over me…I promise to take care and watch over you. 

Thank you for your feedback on this decision. I read every comment and am so grateful to those who took the time to respond. I am beyond grateful to each and every one of you. 

 

Lindsay Gee Logo – Which One Do I Choose?!

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Business growth is essential. Not only is it essential because well, if you don’t grow, you’re going to fail. But, I believe it’s also essential because as the Founder of my company, growth is really the only way for me to stay motivated, inspired and excited about what I do.

So, I’ve decided that as I grow Hot Mama, it’s also important for me to grow as my own brand, my own entity. It’s time to grow as Lindsay Gee. By growing this way I’ll be able to get my name out there a little more, I’ll be able to build both of my brands and dammit, I’ll become known as THE place to go for information and inspiration for women’s health. With a huge side of family fitness, thank you very much! I want to educate. I want to speak at conferences. I want to motivate women around the world to move their beautiful bodies.

So, this Mama needs to “brand”. It’s time for a logo. 

I have a friend named Andrea and she is the best of the best of the best when it comes to designing beautiful things. She is warm and friendly and talented and beautiful and funny and…did I mention talented? She’s beyond amazing and she’s been a pillar of support, humor and love over the past year. I cherish our relationship…more than she could ever know. No words could ever explain the gratitude and love I have for this woman. 

Back to the talented part. She’s a designer and she’s put together four different logo options for me. And, well…I want your opinion. Can you help a girl out and let me know what number you love the best? They’re ALL amazing, this I know, but which one is your faaaaaaavorite. Please comment below this post and help me decide! 

Here are your choices: 

So, my sweeties? Which one?! I know which one I’m leaning towards…but what about you? Please leave your comment in the Comments Box below and help me make my decision! I’d be so very grateful! Thank you!

Success Isn’t a Given – You Gotta Go To Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work, Work

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I was recently chatting with someone who had a business close and the hurt, frustration and general feeling of being jaded by business emanated from her. I felt every ounce of grief, sadness, frustration and anger and my heart broke for her. I don’t like to see people fail. Even when my “competition” fails, my heart goes out to the business owner, because I know what goes into running a business. I know how much of yourself you commit to your business and watching it close must be devastating. 

After I finished talking with the woman who closed her business, I took a few moments to reflect on myself, my brand, my company, my Hot Mamas. And, here’s what I came up with…

HOLY S**T…this year we celebrate 5 years in business…and I’m still here. I’m. Still. Here. And, I’m thriving.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’ve gone through some extremely low points over the years. I’ve doubted myself, my vision, my ability to execute. I’ve quit. I’ve been hurt. I’ve been scared, mad, frustrated, angry and I’ve never doubted myself so much in my life. Welcome to entrepreneurship. It’s quite a ride.

The best part? You can handle all of those emotions if you learn to ride the wave. If you can buckle down, forge ahead and believe in yourself, you can achieve. You will achieve. Now, it might not be in the business you initially intended because well, maybe that just wasn’t the right business for you, but once you find your place in the business world, you can succeed.

There are 1000’s of pieces to the puzzle that is entrepreneurship, but you need to build your business from the four corner pieces and work from there. 

My corner pieces? It took me awhile to realize how essential these pieces are, but I now know that these are the pieces that have brought me to where I am today:

1) Passion. Now, this is a given and you probably know this one. But, I’m talking true passion. I’m talking “wake you up in the middle of the night with your heart racing and ideas slamming around your brain” type of passion. Whatever you decide to do you need to be LIT UP by it. Because, on the days when you want to quit (and there are a lot of those days), it’s this passion that will help you forge ahead. If it’s your true passion and you don’t work on it, you’ll feel like you are missing a big part of your life. If the thought of not working on your business breaks your heart and deflates you, you’ve got it right. When you think about your passion, you should be filled with drive, determination, and energy.

2) Belief. You need to fully believe in the success of your company. Your belief has to be unwavering. How you get there and the journey you have to take will make you question everything about yourself and others, but your belief in your company? Un-wav-er-ing.

If you go into business with the mindset of “I think this could be good”, you’re going to fail. You need the mindset of “This will succeed, there’s no other option”. Why? Because if you believe in what you’re working on, you can’t quit. You seriously, absolutely, 100% can’t quit.

I believe in what I do with Hot Mama and I know I make a difference. I also know that we will be successful. We may have rocky times, but in the end, we do a lot of good work and we help a lot of people. I believe in the goodness of my company and of all the women working with me…I can’t fail. There’s no way. I have never doubted the importance of Hot Mama or how much it is needed. So, I believe in my company. I believe in its success. Always.

3) Grit and perseverance. Like I said, business is hard and will make you question everything about yourself and about others. It’ll pick you up, throw you down, stomp on you, then pick you up again only to throw you down and stomp on you twice as hard. You don’t have to like it, but you do have to get through it. 

You’re going to get knocked down. People are going to let you down. You’re going to let yourself down. You’re going to make mistakes. And, as your company grows, you’ll need more grit and more perseverance than ever before. People will question you more. People will doubt you more. People will plant more seeds of doubt in your mind than ever before. 

Grind it out. Get through it. Stand your ground. Push, dig and drive your business. If you’re passionate about your business and you believe in your business…you constantly pick yourself up, adjust your ponytail, straighten your clothing and you get back to work. To do that…you need grit. You need that something inside you that says “No, you’re wrong…this is worth it. Let me show you just how far I can go”. That’s grit. That’s perseverance. 

4) Solid support.  Now, the above three points are incredibly important but most important is support. You need a cheering squad. You need a strong team forging the path with you. And, you need a soft place to land on the hard and brutal days. 

Support comes in various ways and you need them all.

  • Support within your company. You need support IN your company and you need to work with people who are passionate about what you are doing. You need the support of the people you get to work with every day. In your company you need people working with you who believe in what you are doing and in what you’re trying to do (because yes, they’re two different things). You need people who will walk through the fire with you because they believe in you and your business as much as you do, if not more so. That’s your team…and if you don’t have a supportive team, you’re hooped. Every now and then you need your team to say to you “I believe in you. You can do this”. Because let me tell you…if you don’t hear those words or you don’t have that support, your journey just got a whole lot harder.

  • Support at home. It will be impossible to build your business if you don’t have support at home. Your partner, your family…they all need to be onboard. You’re going to take out a lot of frustration and anxiety on them and it’s often your family that will have the guts to tell you to knock it off and get back to work. If you don’t have that, you’ll fail. You need someone so fully in your corner that no amount of bitchiness and self-doubt causes them to waver. You need someone who pushes you to believe in yourself and who will knock some sense into you when you start to be ridiculous. You need unwavering support from your family because trust me, you’re going to doubt yourself enough for the entire world, you don’t need their doubt riding on your shoulders too. You have enough of that all on your own. 
  • Support from your friends. Now, support from your family is essential but equally important is support from your friends. They’re your soft place to land. They’re the ones who will pick you up off the floor (literally), give you a glass of wine and listen to your doubts and fears on repeat for years and years. You will sound like a broken record because your fears and doubts will always be your fears and doubts. Good friends, they listen, they hug, they let you cry, they let you doubt…then they also give you a kick in the ass and tell you to knock it off. Friends who support you allow you to be you, allow you to grow and change and become what you’re meant to be. Find the people who accept you as you are today and as you are as you grow and hang on tight to them. You’re going to need them, not only for support but for celebration…because nobody celebrates your success like your friends do…nobody. 

There are so many more puzzle pieces you need to be a successful entrepreneur, but I feel like these are the four pillars that have helped me build a business and keep it running for five years. It’s not easy, being an entrepreneur, it’s not at all easy. If you think working for yourself will be fun and amazing, that you can make your own hours and work on your own time, you’re wrong. You’re going to be your worst boss ever because you’re going to be more demanding of yourself than anyone else. But, if you have passion, belief in your business, grit and perseverance and a support team in all aspects of your life…you can do this. 

Make sure your business is right for you and get to work. It’s not easy, it takes patience. It takes determination. And, honestly…it takes a really bombass idea and an ability to work harder than you’ve ever worked to execute your dream. But I’ll tell you one thing: it’s worth it. It’s all worth it. 

Good luck to any and all of you entrepreneurs out there. I’ll be here…grinding it out, doubting myself, and loving every single moment. 

 

A Message to ALL Women Entrepreneurs

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Being an entrepreneur is difficult. It means your mind doesn’t stop and that you’re constantly thinking “what if I…”, “what if we…”, “I wonder if we could…”. It happens at 3am, it happens in the middle of dinner, it happens in the middle of your kids’ concerts. Your mind just doesn’t stop. A true entrepreneur is always creating, always developing and always thinking, thinking, thinking. 

But, did you know that only about 35% of entrepreneurs today are women? I started wondering why that may be. Is it because we’re only now just starting to stand our ground and speak our minds? Have we just recently found our voice in a sea of men and started to speak loud enough to be heard? Are we finally able to rise about the noise and the words that countless people throw at us and stand tall to forge on?

When I first started Hot Mama I had an advisory board who said I would do “pretty well” because I had “a pretty face an okay idea”. True story.  

Um…excuse me…what? Oh…I see…you men sitting on my advisory board throwing pens at one another when you disagree is a much better way for the business world to grow and change the world, am I getting that straight?

Please tell me you read that previous sentence with extreme sarcasm.  

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