Any day when we get to celebrate women, you know I’m going to celebrate and celebrate loudly. My life is based on motivating, inspiring and encouraging women to support, love and lift one another. To fight for one another. To cry on one another’s shoulders. To band around one another without judgment when things get hard. So, to all the women who have touched my life in any way, shape or form…I salute you today.

You’re a badass. 

As we experience and work through campaigns such as #PressforProgress and #MeToo, there are things I truly want my daughter to know. So, I thought I could share them here. You may not agree with all of them, in fact, hardcore feminists are not going to be pleased, but as a strong, educated and loving Mother, these super random points about being a woman are what I want to teach my daughter right now.   

1) We’ve come a long way but there’s still a long way to go. We can vote. We can join the military and fight for our country. We can play sport and *gasp* perspire in public (it wasn’t legal before…seriously…that’s how far we’ve come!). But baby, we still have so far to go. You’ll still be labeled a “bitch” when you fight for something. You won’t make as much money as a man doing the same job. You’ll be mansplained more times than you can count. But…every day there’s progress and there are women still fighting to find balance and keep us moving forward. Join the fight. Stand up for your rights. Be proud to be confident and smart.  

2) There are things men are better at and that’s okay. What the what? Yup. I’m admitting it. And I’m okay with this statement. Stand down, feminists. It’s physiology. Since when can’t we accept that men and women are different? There are also things women are better at then men. So yay for us! But, I choose to celebrate our differences and accept the fact the typically men are stronger than women. It doesn’t make you less of a woman because you can’t open that damn pickle jar…it just means your strengths lie elsewhere. So, baby girl, don’t let differences between the sexes hold you back, celebrate them. And hey, if you want to get stronger…do that! Just don’t think you’re less than because you’re physically weaker than your male counterpart. Don’t even get me started on the male and female brains…there is a reason we’re so different. Be okay with the differences and celebrate the strengths of yours and the opposite sex. 

3) Take the compliment. Sometimes a compliment is just a compliment. There’s no need to overanalyze everything. If someone, male or female, gives you a compliment and it’s genuine and doesn’t creep you out…just say “Thank you!”. How ya doing feminists? You okay with this one? I worry that we’re swinging so far that we will all stop complimenting one another because we’re scared we’ll be called up on sexual misconduct charges. Seriously. It’s a concern of mine. I want my daughter to receive compliments…they feel good. I mean, sure, sure…there’s a limit…”nice rack” isn’t a compliment. But, if a male told her she “looks lovely in that dress”, I’d want her to say “thank you” and go on with her day without another thought. I wonder if this is wrong? All I know is that if I get a compliment, it puts a pep in my step and gives me a zing of happiness. 

Maybe I’m just an attention-seeker. I dunno. But I likes me my compliments and I’d love for my daughter to receive them well. I also want her to know the difference between a compliment and harassment…so there’s that. 

4) Dress how you want to dress. Be you. I was challenged the other day and told I’m too feminine and the things I do to appear more feminine are “setting us back”. Er. Hmmmm. I’m not sure how my own self-care and taking care of myself sets us back, but there are some perceptions out there framed like that. The fact that I get my nails done, get a pedicure, don’t like to go out without makeup…um…that’s just who I am. I LIKE being feminine. I LIKE dressing up. I LIKE wearing dresses. All of these things make me feel…like me. 

So baby girl…you do you. If you like pink…LIKE PINK! Don’t let anyone else tell you because you wear pink and glitter that you’re setting the feminist movement back. You’re not. You like a color. Good for you. You do you and don’t let anyone, male or female, take control of your likes and dislikes. Don’t let anyone ever tell you your choices on how you dress and care for your own body affect another. They affect only you and your love of oneself. Honour and respect yourself not to care and just be you. Okay?

5) Stand tall and be proud of your sex. You’re an effin’ woman. Be proud of that. Many women have fought for the rights you have now, so celebrate the HECK out of them. Learn about Maya Angelou, Anne Frank, Billie Jean King, Florence Nightingale, Amelia Earhart and the hundreds of other women who have done incredible things. Also celebrate your friends, sisters, mothers, auties and tribe that you get to be a part of every single day. Love, support, empower and encourage one another. Stand up for one another. Be a pillar of strength and love for those around you. The power is inside you. Why? Because you’re a woman, that’s why!

6) If you want to do something, do it (as long as it’s legal). Your sex has nothing to do with what you can and cannot do, believe that. If you have a goal, demand success. You’re going to have to work at it. And, if it’s pushing the limits, you’re going to be told you can’t do it, you’ll be ridiculed and bullied. But you’re strong, you’re a woman, you can achieve anything you want to achieve. Of that I am certain. Fight your fight with confidence, bravery and compassion. Be open to learning. Be open to feedback. But if there is one thing I want to teach you, baby girl, it’s that if you want something, no matter your sex, you can achieve it. 

On International Women’s Day, I want to celebrate the fact that I am gloriously a woman. I love it. I love that I have to battle and fight because this makes me stronger. I love that I get to wear dresses and lipstick because this makes me feel beautiful for me and me alone. I love that the women in my life are all completely different and I love them ALL the same because this makes me realize how beautiful this world is. I love that women are standing up and demanding equality and respect because this empowers me to lead the way and blaze a better trail for my daughter.

I love being a woman. I’m PROUD to be a woman. 

Thank you to ALL the women in the past, and in the present, that are fighting for my rights, fighting my daughter’s rights AND her future. I salute the work you do. And me, I’ll continue to build communities of strong, empowered women…because that’s my life’s work and I’m honoured to do just that. 

I woke up this morning to an incredible amount of women posting “Me too” as their status update. I’m appalled, sad, disappointed and…confused.

I’m not confused with the typical “how is this still happening?”, “why is this still happening?”, “how can we stop this?” type of questions. I’m confused because I don’t know if I know what constitutes sexual harassment. Easy does it, feminists…breathe and keep reading.

Don’t get mad at me because I don’t know. My concern is that I know I have been sexually harassed (a lot) but because it was such a “normal” occurrence in my life, I have until now, just chosen to overlook it and brush it off. 

This makes me reluctant to post “Me too”. 

So, the craziest question keeps popping into my head “Is my level of sexual harassment ‘enough’ to post ‘Me too’ as my status update?”.

What if what I’ve gone through has made me stronger, more resilient, more determined? I know that I accepted it at the time and although it disgusted me, it made me the strong woman I am today. I’m not grateful for it, but it did happen. No, I don’t think sexual harassment is okay but I’m confused because if I post “Me too” and the sexual harassment hasn’t caused me to crumble, am I taking away from women who have gone through something so much worse than a few lewd comments, stares and disgusting conversations? 

Here’s the thing: I often feel like status updates such as these are meant for the victims of terrible occurrences. I don’t feel like a victim. At all. I feel more empowered and stronger than ever. So, I don’t want to take away from those who feel that they are victims of sexual harassment or abuse. 

I don’t want to offend anyone. I absolutely don’t want to condone sexual harassment. But, I do want to take a few moments to step back, re-evaluate and make sure that when I post “Me too”, I’m being honest with myself, with the world and most importantly with my daughter. 

Was what I went through even sexual harassment or is there a “lesser” title I can put on it? How do I know? And, if I knew then what I know now, would I change my reaction?

Most importantly, how can I educate my daughter on what to do when it happens to her (because, let’s be honest, seeing all those “me too’s” has me resigned to the fact that she will)? If I don’t know how to step up to the plate and type “Me too” because I don’t know what constitutes sexual harassment, then what’s the point? I want to learn.

I think most viral updates have a purpose and I hope the purpose of this one isn’t to gang up on men and call them assholes, bastards and complete human scum. Although, absolutely, some should be called out. I hope the purpose is to bring awareness to the issue and educate ourselves and future generations as to what harassment and abuse look like in all shapes, sizes and forms. 

It is “okay” for me to minimize the sexual harassment I went through because I’m made of tough stuff and I handled it easily? Is it okay that I wasn’t appalled by what happened, that I reflected on the moments I know I was harassed and stood taller, worked harder and pushed further? Is it okay that I used harassment as a way to show that even if their conversations were inappropriate, it didn’t affect me negatively? And with all that being said, is it okay for me to write “Me too” as my status update? 

Again, I’m not at all condoning sexual harassment, but I need to understand the purpose of this update. I need to know that when I write it, I’m helping and educating and not becoming a part of a “let’s hate all men” movement. I’ve seen many women sexually harass men they work with, so that can’t be my reason. 

As I reflect on my education and my career, I am certain that I’ve been sexually harassed. Sadly, I believe most women have probably experienced it in one form or another. So, how do we move forward? What’s the game plan? How can I educate my daughter on what’s acceptable and what’s not? And, in my case, I’m uncertain whether I should post “Me too” because I know my “level” of sexual harassment doesn’t even come close to what some women have gone through, let alone comparing my experience of sexual harassment to those who have suffered abuseabuse? 

And, isn’t is crazy that I just wrote this blog post asking “Is my sexual harassment enough”?

I am more confused than ever and I guess that’s a good thing. Now I’ll search for answers. Not necessarily for myself, because I feel strong and empowered but for others who have had a different experience and honestly, because I’ll do anything to make my daughter stronger, more vocal and more aware of the situations she’ll go through in her life.

Am I the only one confused? Am I the only one hesitant to write the status update? I’m okay if I am, but I’m wondering if this was a difficult thing for others to post for reasons other than they went through a difficult time and are relieved to find support.