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Beating Anxiety with Love and Kindness

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Watching your child work his way through an anxiety attack can be an extremely heart-wrenching experience for parents to watch. It is emotional. It is often physical. Most heartbreaking of all? Your child will most likely say things about himself that will make you question absolutely everything you’ve ever done as a parent. He’ll say sorry so many times you’ll never want to hear those words again. He’ll put himself down with words that would make any person crumble, no matter the age. He’ll berate himself, he’ll shake, he’ll cry, he’ll sob, he’ll get sick to his stomach and he’ll make no sense to you at all.

That is what a panic attack looks like. At least, that’s how it looks for my own child. 

My sweet boy has been dealing with these attacks for a few years now and over the years we’ve worked hard to help him cope and come up with strategies.

But, all the strategies in the world won’t help if I don’t manage to get to him in time and the attack goes full-blown. The breathing exercises go out the window. Distraction won’t happen. When he’s in it, he’s in it full force and, for us, the only thing that brings our guy out of it is time, love and kindness. 

But, this post isn’t about anxiety. It isn’t about my son’s panic attacks. It’s about kindness, love and the incredible support of strangers.

My son received tickets to a Shawn Mendes (holy cutie patootie) concert for Christmas. He’s been excited and talking about it since then. The big day finally arrived and we spent the day together. All day it was smiles, hand-holding, walking around Vancouver together and all day he reminded me of his butterflies in his tummy. Noted, son. Noted. I knew he was nervous. 

We had a wonderful Mommy/Son day. Then, it was concert time. We walked to the venue early to beat the crowd (anxiety pro-tip: BEAT THE CROWD as best you can). We walked around the venue. We saw the merchandise lines and he decided he didn’t want to wait in the line and he’d get a shirt online (YAY!), so we went to our seats. He was pumped, excited and all smiles. 

The crowd was filled with young girls who looked like Taylor Swift and Selena Gomez. Did you all know bodysuits and flannel are back? I mean…back, back! Like…every single teenage girl was rockin’ my look from 1992! 

I digress…

Charlie Puth was the opener. Jeez…he sings a lot of songs I know. I’m so hip. But I just used the word “hip”, so no…no, I am not hip now. Shit.

I digress…

During Charlie Puth Owen decided that no, he did want his t-shirt. So, up to the lineup we went. We heard 2 Charlie Puth songs and the rest of the time we were lined up. We got the shirt and headed back to our seats.

The lights go down. My son grabs my hand and tells me he’s scared. The lights flicker. I tell him he’s safe. The audio opening starts. My son says he’s really scared. The light show continues. I tell him to breathe and watch for a spotlight. He squeezes my hand. There’s the spotlight and then Shawn Mendes appears onstage. My son smiles and lets go of my hand.

It’s loud. It’s very loud. Next to my son is a screaming teenage girl. The lungs on the girl were amazing. I don’t fault her. She’s a teenager at a cutie patootie Shawn Mendes concert. Of course she’s screaming. I related to her. She’s me at Bryan Adams. 

Digressing again…

The first song happens. We’re good. Second song happens, I see the change on my son’s little face. It’s happening. I ask “Are you ok?”. He says yes. 30 seconds later “Sweets, are you ok!?”. Yes. Third song starts. It’s louder than ever. It’s a favorite song. The girls are going crazy. I look at my son and I know. He says “Moommmyyyy”…and we bolt. 

Excuse me. Sorry. Pardon me. Excuse us. Can we get by? Sorry. No, he’s okay. It’s okay. Thanks.

We’re now on the concourse and we’re in it. We’re panic attack city. We’re on the concourse and my sweet boy is grabbing his ears, sobbing. One hand in his mouth, the other holding his ears. “It’s so loud, Mommy. I can’t. It’s so loud”. All tears. All sobbing. “I’m sorry, Mommy. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry”. 

Now, for my guy when he’s here the best I can do is hold on, let him know he’s safe and get him moving. So, I say let’s walk. He wraps his little arm around me and we start walking.

He’s sobbing still. He’s still in it. And he’s getting deeper and the attack is getting bigger and I’m trying so hard to be there for him and do what he needs. Then, kindness wins.

One of the staff from Rogers Arena comes up to us. He says “Hey little man. It’s loud, isn’t it? I get it. It’s even loud out here”. My son nods. And sobs. And bites his t-shirt. The man says “Maybe I can help. Maybe you need a drink. A Pepsi maybe?”. My son looks at me for approval and I nod. He follows my savior to his booth and the vendor says “Do you want it now or would you like to keep it for later”. Later please, my son manages. “It’s on the house,” the vendor says…and just like that…kindness broke my son out of his cycle.

My son, in all his panic and worry, turned to me and said: “that was really nice”. He smiles. Tears still on his face, he smiled. And he’s out of it. Kindness wins.

Kindness. Wins.

We continued to walk the concourse. My son’s arm around me. My arm around him. His little face red and swollen. As we walked, I received nods of acknowledgment from many parents. I felt hands on my shoulder and a quick squeeze from strangers in a show of support. Staff member after staff member stopped to chat with us. It was beautiful. Wonderful. And so heart-warming.

To the staff at Roger’s Arena, I cannot thank you enough. From security staff trying to make my son laugh, to vendors handing out earplugs, to the woman who showed my son the set list as he decided to leave so at least he knew what he was walking away from (making the decision easier for him)…I cannot thank you enough. 

To the man who offered my son a Pepsi and broke him out his cycle…I thank you with all I am. You saved my son that night from hours of illness and worry. The power of your kindness was incredible. I know it was a simple act. But perhaps the simple acts of kindness are the most important ones.

This world can be a glorious and kind place. During such times of hatred, unease and disturbing behaviors…there is kindness out there. 

We left the Shawn Mendes concert after about an hour of walking the concourse. The best part? My son made the decision on his own. He told me what he needed and he felt supported, not only from me, but from all the staff in that building. 

We got back to the hotel room and my son turned to me and said “Mama. That was really fun. I had a really nice time walking with you tonight”. 

15 words I’ve never been so happy to hear. 

Kindness wins. No matter what. Kindness wins.

Again, my many thanks to the numerous people at Rogers Arena for your kindness, compassion, understanding and non-judgement. I am beyond grateful. And, my son…he now has a wonderful memory of how kindness helped him. And, isn’t that an incredible lesson and gift to receive?

If only Shawn Mendes did small venue concerts…like a backyard BBQ. LOL. Now that, my son can handle. 

I’m All About the Sippin’ & Sweatin’!

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Alright, my lovelies. I’m getting close to launching my first (maybe annual?!) Summertime Sip & Sweat and you do NOT want to miss out on this one! Every Friday, all summer long, I’m going to send you a new workout you can do at home AND a delicious (not nutritious, but definitely not terrible) cocktail recipe. For FREE. 

The only way you get to be a part of it?! REGISTER, baby! 

CLICK HERE to sign up today and get your first “taster” Sip & Sweat. It’s all about the Mango Slushy…and maybe some burpees. Yeah okay…there are burpees too.

Starting June 30th I will send my list an email with a PDF document to download. You’ll receive a Recipe of the Week to try (and please let me know how you like it!) and a new workout to get your sweat on. Think of it as 8 weeks of free workouts and drinks delivered right to your door…except it’s to your inbox, so not really your door. 

Why did I do this? Because. I wanted to.

Oh, and also I think people worry about finding their summer “balance”. A lot of my friends are worried about the camping and the drinking and the eating. I figure I can help you with two of those. I can send you drink recipes that won’t be terribly calorie dense (okay, a few are, but they’re so good I had to include them). Even better than the drinks? I can send you workouts you can take with you camping, on holidays, to your backyard, to a park that will help you move your body during a season some “forget” to sweat it out…from physical activity, not the heat.

So, join me in my Summertime Sip & Sweat fun TODAY!

Sign up HERE.

First email goes out Friday, June 30th…and I cannot wait for you to see what I have in store for you!

Happy Summer, Mamas! 

Muwah. xo

Hot Mama’s Bootylicious Run Group Runs to Support Mental Illness Awareness

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This post is brought to you by the makers of MOTRIN®

I love running. I love losing myself in the kilometers and letting my mind wander. I love the task of training for an event. And I seriously love the energy at the event I’ve been spending hours and hours, kilometer after kilometer preparing for.

There is nothing like the energy of run events. The nervous and excited energy before the race begins and the joy and pride energy as you cross the finish line. Even better? Watching woman after woman achieve their goals as they cross that line. There’s really nothing like it.

I was recently at the Shopper’s Drug Mart Run for Women with our Hot Mama’s Bootylicious Run Group in Calgary. There were 40+ Hot Mamas, plus a few Cool Daddies and even a Mini registered to tackle either the 5k or 10k route. I showed up to a sea of pink (hello Hot Mama “Run Like a Mother tanks”), nerves and excitement. These women had trained for 12 weeks for this day and they were ready!

It was a beautiful day, with incredible Mamas filled with excitement. I am so honored that I got to be a part of it. Sometimes I forget how far I’ve come in my own Hot Mama journey. Starting with one class a week where I had to threaten my friends to come, to standing in the middle of a bunch of women I don’t know who love Hot Mama and the community that their franchise owners have worked so hard to build. It’s humbling and staggering and it often takes my breath away.

Pre-event activities included photos at the MOTRIN® Recovery Zone (and thank goodness they were there, MOTRIN® would be needed after this race…more on that in a  bit), photos of the beautiful and amazing Hot Mama team and speeches from women affected by mental illness. One Mama (not a Hot Mama, but she should be) spoke about her journey through postpartum depression. She spoke so powerfully and emotionally that it resonated with many of our Hot Mamas.

I am so proud that we ran the Shopper’s Drug Mart Run for Women because, at Hot Mama, we’re working hard to combat postpartum depression with our postpartum initiative. We offer free classes to women who are between 8-16 weeks postpartum. No hooks, no contracts. We just want Mamas to get out, get active and find the support and love they need during what could be a pretty dark time.

Then, it was time to hit the road. We lined up, bounced on the spot a little, then headed off. I ran the 10k and got to spend the first 5k with our Calgary West Sarcee owner, Tara. She’s amazing and sweet. Most times when I run a race with the Hot Mamas I stay with the group. I like chatting with everyone and learning about their journey. So, at 5k Tara and I hung back and ran with Hot Mamas as they caught up to us. We’d run a bit with each Mama and then send her on her merry (??) way.

There’s always a lot of love out on run courses. And, I was so stinkin’ proud of the turn-out at this Run for Women event! So many people running to raise awareness of women’s mental illness. It was phenomenal.

I learned a great deal on the course running with the Hot Mamas. I learned about their family, I learned about their experience, I learned what was on their playlist and I learned about how proud they were of themselves. That’s the part that I always love best.

I landed with one Hot Mama with about 1.5k to go and we walked and talked…and fell. Oh yeah. My poor partner rolled her ankle right off the path and landed on her elbow. So, we hung out on the side of the race route where woman after woman offered support, love, compassion and water. I know my run buddy was in pain, but I’m always amazed at how freakin’ wonderful women can be to one another. Medical help finally came, and although the ankle was fine, the elbow was not.

However, my run buddy decided she wanted to finish the race. So, our first aider fashioned a sling from her own jacket and bicketty-bam we were back in business. We finished the race to cheers from the Hot Mamas and yes, I do believe my partner had a few tears of pride and joy.

We then motored over to the MOTRIN® recovery van…because honestly, we were looking for ibuprofen for relief of our sore, achy bones and joints. The bright orange van beckoned us and we snapped a few photos there.

(And psssst…you like saving money, of this I know…so get a coupon to save $3 on MOTRIN® HERE.)

Minus the injury, this was an incredible run. The Hot Mamas were as supportive as ever. We supported a cause that is very near and dear to my heart. I got to meet a bunch of Hot Mamas and learn all about them and their journey. And, I got to help someone and make her laugh when all she wanted to do was cry. So yeah…in my books, that’s a pretty incredible day.

I cannot thank my Hot Mama franchise owners enough for creating the communities of love, joy, support and friendship that they’ve created. When someone falls (literally), they’re there to pick her back up and cheer her as she achieves her goal. Not everyone can do what our franchise owners do. Not everyone can lead a group of women to success through fitness, humor and community. I’m proud of each and every owner who led their Bootylicious Run Group. And, I’m proud of each and every Hot Mama who crossed the finish line of the Run for Women race.

Congrats to all the runners out there! What’s next?!

Oh, and if you want to check out the Hot Mama Bootylicious Run group, connect with your local Hot Mama franchise and get yourself signed up! There are tons of races happening. I’m sure they’re training for something!

To be sure MOTRIN® is right for you, always read and follow the label.

 

 

Dear Depression…

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Dear Depression,

Well, hey there. I see you’re back. I hadn’t noticed you creep back into my life, but there you are. I’ve been feeling off for a few months now and rationalized it with nerves, exhaustion and yes, even allergies. But no. It’s you, isn’t it? You’re back. And you’re stronger this time.

Well, darkness. So. Am I.

We’ve been here. We’ve gone through this before. I didn’t think I’d have to see you again. Last time you were based on injury. But, I see it’s time for us to battle once again. 

It’s not okay, you know. What you do. It’s not okay. You’re a real asshole.

You’re a pitch black hole of loneliness, doubt, anxiety and sadness. But that’s not all you are. You’re anger, too. 

Oh depression, you have such strength, such power. But, I will control you now. Now that I recognize that you’ve seeped back into my body, taken over my heart, my soul. For me, you’re black blood that travels through my body at lightning speed, infecting and spreading your sorrow, anger and doubt so quickly it takes my breath away.

You’re not slow, you’re fast. You work quickly. You zing around my body controlling my thoughts, filling me with doubt and causing me to think irrational thoughts. Yes depression, you do that. You make me believe things that aren’t true. You fill my head with scenarios and feelings and so much anger I could scream.

And yes, while my brain understands what you’re doing. While I listen to person after person tell me I’m being ridiculous, well, Depression, you’re louder than those voices. And, for reasons I don’t understand, my head and stomach, well, they listen to you. They’re under your speedy and warped spell.

You make me sick. Literally. I shake, I cry, I rage and this hole in my stomach? It just won’t go away.

For me, you’re the darkest of dark holes. But it’s not a comforting hole for me. It’s nowhere I want to be. Now, I realize for some people you cause them to want to hunker down in your darkness, pull over the covers, make a nest and sleep for days, for weeks, for months. 

But for me, you make me want to do burpees and sprint and sweat in your darkness. I’m in the pit of your darkness running intervals and bouncing off your goddam walls. I’m so angry and sad and deflated and defeated. That’s your power.

These negative thoughts won’t stop. This hole in my stomach won’t close.

That’s your power.

You’re a menacing darkness with teeth that nash at my insecurities and take pieces of me every time I meet you. 

You’re unwelcome, you all-powerful asshole. And I will find a way through you once again.

You see, I have help. 

I have a community of people who support me, inspire me and believe in me. I have a family who hugs me, loves me, reaches for me. I have kids who brighten even my darkest days. So even though I’m sweating it out down in your deep darkness, when my kids are around their sunbeams reach me. It may look like the smallest of small beams of light, but I feel the light. It calls to me. It’s stronger than you.

So, fuck you. I’m gripping and clawing my way towards the light. No, I’m sprinting toward it. I will rely on physical activity to get me through this. And if that doesn’t work? If you’ve pulled me that much further down this time? I’m not afraid of the pills made to help people dig out of this. 

I won’t wear the badge of horror you want me to wear.

Sometimes you’re too strong and outside help is needed. And I’m at the place now where I realize reaching out for help isn’t a weakness. It’s a strength.

So, fuck you once again. I’m done with your darkness. I’m done making you believe I’m not good enough. I’m done being mad and angry and raging all the time, even if it’s only on the inside. I deserve better and I will find a way to get better.

I’m sure we’ll meet again. But know this…I will never give in completely to you. I am stronger than you. I will beat you time and time and time again. 

I know I don’t always realize you’re there right away, but when I do, my ugly, disgusting depression, I will fight and claw and dig your eyes out. I will fill you with joy and love and light and cover the dark hole you’ve made me struggle out of.

I will stand at the top of your dark tunnel down and dance to Dolly Parton on your grave. I will laugh and rejoice and celebrate the strength and control I have over my own body, heart and soul.

I’m not there just yet. But I will be. So prepare for the end. I’m about done feeling the way you make me feel. Help is on the way and I am beyond ready to reach for it.

Fuck you, you dark asshole. You’re unwanted here.

I’m ready for the light. 

Lindsay

 

Sweating in the Summer – My Top Tips to Working Out in the Sun

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This post is brought to you by the makers of MOTRIN®

I love running. I love that I can just strap on my running shoes, grab my favorite playlist and head out to sweat it out and clear my mind whenever I want. What I don’t love? When I don’t prep properly. Not prepping sucks. It sucks big.

Wanna know why? Because your body does NOT like it when you don’t prep. And, as we head into summer, the importance of prepping your body for physical activity in the heat is more than important…it’s…well…it’s critical.

I’m training for the Shopper’s Drug Mart Run for Women 10k and a half marathon in September in Kelowna and I’ve just started to ramp up my training. I’ve created a 16-week run program that I follow and love. This week’s long run? 10k.

Now, I’ve run a few half marathons and I can usually decide to head out and run 10k, no problem. And, don’t be appalled if you just gasped at the thought of running 3k, not the 10k I just ran…this is my reality of fitness…yours is yours. Be proud of where you’re at. M’kay. 

But listen…10k is getting up there in distance. And, if you’re not hydrated, if you don’t eat, if you don’t listen to your body…you’re going to suffer.

And suffer I did. And…to make matters worse? There was no MOTRIN® Recovery zone at the end of this run. You know what I’m talkin’ about, right? The big vans at the end of distance races that give you what you need for pain relief? Yeah…no van like that in my driveway…luckily it will be there for the Run for Women! Woop!

I digress…

The day before my 10k I didn’t eat properly, I didn’t hydrate the way I should have and I had a terrible sleep. BUT, I had to get the miles in. The morning of my run I got up, got dressed and headed out for my run. Sans breakfast. Sans water.

(I know, I know…I can already hear my own Mother lecturing me…yours is unnecessary).

It was hot. So hot. I had no water. I didn’t eat breakfast. I was running on fumes. And it was a terrible, terrible run. I swear my legs were 897 lbs each, I stopped sweating at about 6km (hello dehydration) and my lungs weren’t talking to my brain…because if they were I’m certain my brain would have sent more oxygen around my body.

To say it was my worst run ever wouldn’t be a lie. Blech. You can even watch my FB Live as I walked, yes walked the last kilometer frustrated and mad at myself.

I’ve decided to write my 5 top tips for being active in the summer. Now, in no way, shape or form is this list all-inclusive, I’d need a Top 50 for that (perhaps later?!), but for now, the top five will do. 

Tip #1: Hydrate BEFORE you head out.

Don’t just hydrate an hour before your workout. If you’re planning on exercising in the heat for longer than 45 minutes, you need to hydrate the day before. As a super “general” guideline, shoot for 2L of water the day before. Bigger people need more, smaller people need less…but generally, 2L will do the trick.

General Guidelines from the American Council on Exercise:

17-20 oz of water 2-3 hours before you exercise
8 oz of water 20-30 minutes before you exercise

Tip #2: Hydrate WHILE you exercise.

Take a run belt with you if you’re running, or a big beautiful (iced) bottle of water with you if you’re heading to a class. I typically freeze a bottle of water the night before and it thaws as I workout. There are few things better than super icy water during a hot workout!

General Guidelines from the American Council on Exercise:

7-10 oz of water for every 10-20 minutes of physical activity.

Tip #3: Eat before your workout.

Now, I know a lot of you don’t like to eat before your workout. Trust me, I’m in the same boat. But grab something small with some protein and something you know your tummy can handle. Do NOT load up of cheese or fatty foods, we’re looking to help you, not hinder you. When you consume fat before you workout, blood goes to digestion…you need the blood going to your working muscles.

So, have an egg with toast. Greek yogurt and berries. A banana and peanut butter. Something small but substantial. Yes? Yes.

Okay…moving on…

Tip 4: Wear sunscreen.

This should be a no-brainer…but it’s not. Put on your sunscreen!! That sun is crazy hot and you can burn in a very short amount of time. I’m still looking for a great sunscreen to use while exercising outside (for my face AND for my body…cuz I KNOW they need to be different), so if any of you have recommendations, I’d love to try a few out to review!

Tip #5: Wear your hat!

I know when it’s hot out the last thing you really want to do is add layers to your exercise gear. But, wearing a hat will help ward off terrible things like sunstroke, which will make you feel nauseous and awful. It also helps keep sweat out of your eyes! Your hat will help protect your hair, skin and eyes from those pesky UV rays. Trust me…wear the hat. 

And listen, you’re going to have a bad workout this summer. And, it’s okay. I woke up this morning with ridiculously sore legs. Why? Probably because as you fatigue your gait, stride and footfall change, so different stabilizing muscles have to fire…muscles that typically don’t fire for you. And that, that’ll lead to muscle soreness.

The good news? There’s help available!

Pain medication and muscle relaxants! LOL! If you think I’m joking, I’m not. I do believe there are medications out there that can help you get through your day with less pain and more relaxed muscles. For me, I’m a fan of MOTRIN® Platinum – Muscle & Body. Seriously. A BIG fan. 

I even have a COUPON that saves you $3. Get it HERE!

To train for my half marathon, I need to run another 10k next weekend and on June 11th, I’m heading out to meet 40+ Hot Mamas in Calgary for the Shopper’s Drug Mart Run for Women…which I cannot wait for! There’s even going to be a MOTRIN® Recovery van at the finish line…it’s like they know we’re going to need it!

So, let’s make a deal with one another…we’ll both hydrate, we’ll both eat before our workouts, we’ll wear sunscreen and we’ll wear a hat. You promise? Cuz I promise.

And, when you’re feeling sore and your muscles are revolting, try MOTRIN®, Mama…ibuprofen, muscle relaxants, pain relief….OH MY! It’s there to help, you don’t need to “tough out” muscle soreness.

Take care of your body by hydrating, stretching and yes, ibuprofen for the win, baby!

To be sure this product is right for you, always read and follow the label.