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7 Words to Tell Yourself When You’re Going Through a Rough Time

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This is just a moment in time.

This is just a moment in time.

This is just a moment in time.

This is what I repeat to myself when things are difficult, when life’s kicked me in the crotch again and when I think I couldn’t possibly take another step forward.

This is just a moment in time.

And you know what? It works. It works to remember that for every moment we’re going through, there’s another moment that’s going to happen right after this one. It might be better, it might be worse, but the moment you’re going through right now? It’ll pass. You’ll get through it. Something will change and a new moment will be created.

I’m not saying you just sit there and let the moments come to you. You need to get out there and do the work. You need to forgive whatever is holding you back and take a step toward the next moment that you want to create. If you don’t do the work, it’s almost guaranteed that the next moment isn’t going to be a good one, or that you’ll simply stay where you are but sink a little deeper into the place you want to get out of. So, you need to do the work. 

I’ve had a lot going on over the past many, many months and there are big changes ahead. And that change? Well, it can be paralyzing. Remembering that where I am right now is just a moment in time, that someday I will look back at this moment and think “Whoa…that was a shit moment, but here I am now in this place, feeling amazing” – well, it makes it easier to manage the moment I’m in now. It’s important to remember that even the smallest change can shift where you’re at right now and pivot the direction of your next moment. 

But, like I said. You gotta do the work. Sitting around moping, complaining and blaming simply stalls you from moving out of this moment in time towards another, more positive, more happy, more freeing moment in time. So stop. Figure out what you want. Make a plan. Do the work. Get out of this moment.

Unforunately, it doesn’t work in reverse. Those moments that you want to hold on to? Those moments you don’t want to let go? Those moments you want to stay and live in forever? Well, those are also just moments in time. When you’re in those good places and you’re really living in your moment, remember to take the time to feel the moment, to appreciate and love the moment…to let that moment wash over you and fill your soul with love, joy and happiness. You also deserve that. 

This is just a moment in time.

Those 7 words have honestly changed my life.

When my kids are bickering and I want to scream: This is just a moment in time.

When I doubt my strength, my power and my capability to achieve: This is just a moment in time.

When something goes wrong in my business: This is just a moment in time.

When my body gives out and leaves me sick for months on end: This is just a moment in time.

When I’m so exhausted, my patience is nil and my kid has a fever: This is just a moment in time.

When love is hard and exhausting and you doubt all of it: This is just a moment in time.

Here’s the BIG difference though: You need to ADD TWO WORDS during the good moments.

When your kids look at you with joy, happiness and unconditional love: This is just a moment in time. Remember this.

When your child does something for the first time and they get “that” smile of pride: This is just a moment in time. Remember this.

When you do something for the first time in a long time and remind yourself who you are: This is just a moment in time. Remember this.

When you feel the sun on your face, hear the sound of laughter and take a moment to breathe: This is just a moment in time. Remember this.

It’s the “Remember this” moments we need to focus on when things are hard. Remember that there are good moments ahead. Of course there will be difficult ones, too. But in a world that constantly wants us to focus all the things we’re not “enough” of, the “Remember this” moments will hold you together, will allow you to remember that the dark times are simply a moment in time and there are so many more moments you’re going to want to remember once you get out of this one. 

Life is hard sometimes. Not all the time…but sometimes. In those hard moments, just remember – this is just a moment in time. You can get through it. You will get through it. Why?

Well, #1 – there’s no other choice, you gotta move.

And #2 – We all deserve incredible moments in our life.

So, get to work and go get ’em. This is just a moment in time. Good or bad.

This is just a moment in time.

Combatting Postpartum Depression Through Exercise, Community & Laughter

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When I started Hot Mama I truly never understood the impact I could have in this world. I simply wanted to do something that I loved doing and teaching group exercise classes is a true passion of mine. I love teaching with every single cell of my body. It lights me up like nothing else can.

I then franchised Hot Mama because I saw the impact my little bootcamp company was having in the community I lived. Women were getting fit, were feeling supported and had found a place to meet other like-minded, non-judgmental Mamas. I was helping postpartum Mamas find themselves again through fitness, community, love and laughter. I realized that we could impact many more women and families and their communities if I had incredible women, who loved our Hot Mama brand, building similar communities where they lived.  

But, the real magic was unleashed when we implemented our Postpartum Initiative. I’m going to be totally honest here, when the idea was first presented to me, I saw it as an incredible way to get more Mamas to class. I knew once they tried us, they’d stay (if they could). Never ever did I realize that we would end of saving lives and helping thousands of women crawl out of the darkness that is postpartum depression. Never did I realize that this initiative would change the lives of so many women, including myself.

What is the PPI?

Our PPI offers FREE classes to Mamas between 8 – 24 weeks postpartum. They have access to two classes per week for four weeks. No hooks. No gimmicks. No contracts. 

The goal? Get Mamas out of the house to a place where they can receive support, love, understanding and safe workouts for their postpartum body. And to be honest, even if they don’t workout, at least we’re getting them out of the house with their new baby! Exercise is more commonly being prescribed to postpartum women to help fight against postpartum depression. If we can offer a safe place where women can go to get the support they need during those first few postpartum lonely and, let’s be honest, isolating and overwhelming months, you bet your sweet buns we’re going to do it!

We’ve extended the PPI window!

Previously our PPI was available to women who were between 8 – 16 weeks postpartum but we’ve extended our initiative to include women up to 24 weeks postpartum. Why? Well, a few reasons:

  • Some bodies take longer to recover from pregnancy and labor/delivery.
  • Postpartum depression is diagnosed at the highest rate between 3-6 months postpartum.
  • Sometimes Mamas just need a little extra time to figure out Motherhood and all it entails to get baby out the door!

Please help us spread the word!

We’d love more people to know about our FREE classes for postpartum Mamas, so we’re hosting a Thunderclap campaign. We would be SO GRATEFUL for your support in getting the word out!

Please click the pink “BRING THE THUNDER” button below, then click the RED buttons on that page to offer support. How does this offer support? Easy! On May 13th a social post will be made on your FB or Twitter account on our behalf. We’re hoping to have at least 500 supporters, so that’ll be 500 people posting about this initiative at the same time. And THAT has power. 

Thank you so much for your love, support, comments and words of encouragement. You Mamas are truly an inspiration and are the reason we keep pushing Hot Mama towards global domination. Mamas all over this world need us, of this I am certain. Your help in spreading the word is beyond appreciated. xo

 

Don’t Grieve Growth, It’s Actually Pretty Amazing

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Parenting. Sheesh.

It’s either moving too fast or too slow, isn’t it?!

You think the stage of parenting you’re in is going to be either the best stage EVER or you simply can’t “wait to get through it”. Teething, sleep training, the terrible two’s…so hard and seemingly never-ending. But, it does end, eventually. Some people love each moment and claim that “this age is the absolute best age”. Speaking as a Mom of a 7 and 9-year old, I’ve got to say, I’ve also made those claims. And, while my kids are still young kids, they just keep getting cooler! 

I loved when my kids were babies. I loved the snuggles and the cuddles and the newness of smiles, laughter and them discovering life outside their bodies. I could have done without the teething phase or the phase where we were both frustrated because I didn’t understand him and the language he used. So. Frustrating.

I also realize that I think, maybe, just maybe, I’m in the gravy stage of parenting…

My kids are still young enough to love me and think that I can fix anything. They still dance with me and think I’m beautiful and cool. I’m lucky enough to be their safe place after a hard day (I hope this will always be the case). I also know this stage will end. I’m dreading the days when they won’t talk to me, when they think I’m super lame and when, to be honest, they “hate” me as only teens can. I realize these days will come, but I also have to imagine, there are going to be some pretty cool moments as they grow when I’ll step outside myself and think “Yeah, those are some pretty amazing kids”. 

I was talking to some Moms the other day who were saying they wish they could hit the “pause” button. I remember feeling that, but looking back, I’m so glad there isn’t one. I’ve loved each stage of my kiddos’ growth. But honestly, the one we’re in right now has to be one of the coolest stages yet.

They’re smart and funny and kind. They’re ridiculous, they drive me crazy and they absolutely push my buttons. But, the conversations we have now?! Amazing. The way they make the every day more interesting is a true gift. Even when they have harder times when friends aren’t being friendly and feelings are hurt, it’s all growth, isn’t it? It’s a moment when we can step in and teach or step aside and let them figure it out on their own. 

There are moments of real heartbreak when you see your daughter’s hurt feelings after a difficult “friend day” at school and there are moments of wonder when she works through them on her own because that’s what kids need to do sometimes. These are incredible moments you don’t get to have until your kids are in this stage.

 

I have conversations with my son that I couldn’t have imagined having. About a month ago I said something so blatantly obvious, he looked me and said, “Yeah, no shit, Mom”…you kinda gotta be proud at that moment because his humor is amazing and he effectively spoke like an adult for the first time. Growth. He’s finding his way, his humor and his voice. That is really freaking incredible. 

Growth is daunting. Growth is hard. Watching your children struggle is one of the most difficult things you’ll ever watch. But, to see them work through it and come out on the other side, as loving, kind, funny individuals…yeah…that’s worth the growth. It’s worth the worry and the sleepless nights. It’s worth everything when you see your children grow into the next stage of their lives. 

So Mamas, don’t be afraid of growth. You can mourn the loss of what was, but embrace change and accept your children’s growth as a kudos to yourself and to the way you parent. They wouldn’t be who they are without you. Don’t fret too much. Don’t overanalyze everything that happens to them in their day. Love them. Teach them. Coach them. Respect them. Then step aside and watch them grow.

Don’t press pause…the best days are yet to come.

 

Parenting 101: Battling Disappointment with Fun, Laughter & Ice Cream

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Life can be utterly disappointing sometimes. As adults, we have learned strategies to overcome disappointment. Wine-drinking, bitching to girlfriends or my favorite, physical activity (i.e. exercise!!). But, teaching our children how to overcome disappointing moments in life is a tough lesson to learn, particularly when you are just as disappointed as them. As much as we’d like to yell, scream and/or overturn tables and chairs, this behavior is inappropriate and other coping mechanisms should be used (apparently). 

Recently, I was reminded that although disappointing moments in life are well, disappointing, they can also lead to incredible days filled with laughter and joy. It’s really how you frame the day and react to the moment.

My kiddos and I were recently away for Spring Break and after a week away, my kids were absolutely ready to head home. They missed their friends, their beds, their dogs and their Dad. We were all set to wake at 5 am and head to the airport when I received an email notification from Westjet saying our flights had been canceled due to “Crew Issues”. Le sigh. 

I managed to get us on flights the next day and went into the bedroom to tell my kids. My son has some fairly severe anxiety issues and he handles his days best when he knows what the schedule is for the entire day. So, this change in plans was going to throw him for a HUGE loop. I crawled onto the bed where I saw his little shoulders shaking as he hid under the blankets. He knew things had changed. 

I broke the news to my kids that we wouldn’t be heading home that day. My daughter, she’s pretty easy going, said “OK!”. My son…started sobbing under the blankets. As my own disappointment coursed through my body, I had to fight the urge to crawl under the blankets and join him in a sob-session. Instead, I pulled the blankets back, dried his tears and told him I understood how he was feeling. I told him I felt the same way he felt, then asked what can we do to make disppointment…well…positive?

He shrugged.

I shrugged.

Then I said, “Well, I guess we make this the best damn day we’ve had here, don’t we?!” (he likes when I swear a bit, I think it makes him feel more grown up). 

And THAT is what we did. We made a disappointing day one of the best damn days we had on vacation. We went mini-golfing with my Dad. We went swimming with my Mom. We got ice cream and laughed and talked about the fun we were having. We went for dinner with a friend I hadn’t seen for a long time and my kids made new “best friends”. 

The entire day was a reminder to me that disappointment happens. It happens all the time. All. The. Time. But, how we respond and what we do with that disappointment can pivot disappointment into memories we will have forever. Granted, as adults, mini-golf, swimming and ice cream may not alleviate all of life’s disappointments, but maybe reframing our thoughts, taking more positive steps and believing you can make things good again is a step in the right direction.

My kids certainly taught me that disappointment can lead to the best damn day ever. If I learned anything from my son from this experience it’s that disappointment can cripple you. But, with the right support and enough love and determination from the people around you, disappointment can easily be turned into understanding and joy…it’s not what he expected to be doing that day, but he was the most grateful he’d been in a long time.

That being said…if we’d been delayed another day…we would have absolutely been f**ked. Cuz…when a boy loves his dog this much…no amount of ice cream can dissolve that disappointment.

 

6 Random Things I Want My Daughter To Know on International Women’s Day

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Any day when we get to celebrate women, you know I’m going to celebrate and celebrate loudly. My life is based on motivating, inspiring and encouraging women to support, love and lift one another. To fight for one another. To cry on one another’s shoulders. To band around one another without judgment when things get hard. So, to all the women who have touched my life in any way, shape or form…I salute you today.

You’re a badass. 

As we experience and work through campaigns such as #PressforProgress and #MeToo, there are things I truly want my daughter to know. So, I thought I could share them here. You may not agree with all of them, in fact, hardcore feminists are not going to be pleased, but as a strong, educated and loving Mother, these super random points about being a woman are what I want to teach my daughter right now.   

1) We’ve come a long way but there’s still a long way to go. We can vote. We can join the military and fight for our country. We can play sport and *gasp* perspire in public (it wasn’t legal before…seriously…that’s how far we’ve come!). But baby, we still have so far to go. You’ll still be labeled a “bitch” when you fight for something. You won’t make as much money as a man doing the same job. You’ll be mansplained more times than you can count. But…every day there’s progress and there are women still fighting to find balance and keep us moving forward. Join the fight. Stand up for your rights. Be proud to be confident and smart.  

2) There are things men are better at and that’s okay. What the what? Yup. I’m admitting it. And I’m okay with this statement. Stand down, feminists. It’s physiology. Since when can’t we accept that men and women are different? There are also things women are better at then men. So yay for us! But, I choose to celebrate our differences and accept the fact the typically men are stronger than women. It doesn’t make you less of a woman because you can’t open that damn pickle jar…it just means your strengths lie elsewhere. So, baby girl, don’t let differences between the sexes hold you back, celebrate them. And hey, if you want to get stronger…do that! Just don’t think you’re less than because you’re physically weaker than your male counterpart. Don’t even get me started on the male and female brains…there is a reason we’re so different. Be okay with the differences and celebrate the strengths of yours and the opposite sex. 

3) Take the compliment. Sometimes a compliment is just a compliment. There’s no need to overanalyze everything. If someone, male or female, gives you a compliment and it’s genuine and doesn’t creep you out…just say “Thank you!”. How ya doing feminists? You okay with this one? I worry that we’re swinging so far that we will all stop complimenting one another because we’re scared we’ll be called up on sexual misconduct charges. Seriously. It’s a concern of mine. I want my daughter to receive compliments…they feel good. I mean, sure, sure…there’s a limit…”nice rack” isn’t a compliment. But, if a male told her she “looks lovely in that dress”, I’d want her to say “thank you” and go on with her day without another thought. I wonder if this is wrong? All I know is that if I get a compliment, it puts a pep in my step and gives me a zing of happiness. 

Maybe I’m just an attention-seeker. I dunno. But I likes me my compliments and I’d love for my daughter to receive them well. I also want her to know the difference between a compliment and harassment…so there’s that. 

4) Dress how you want to dress. Be you. I was challenged the other day and told I’m too feminine and the things I do to appear more feminine are “setting us back”. Er. Hmmmm. I’m not sure how my own self-care and taking care of myself sets us back, but there are some perceptions out there framed like that. The fact that I get my nails done, get a pedicure, don’t like to go out without makeup…um…that’s just who I am. I LIKE being feminine. I LIKE dressing up. I LIKE wearing dresses. All of these things make me feel…like me. 

So baby girl…you do you. If you like pink…LIKE PINK! Don’t let anyone else tell you because you wear pink and glitter that you’re setting the feminist movement back. You’re not. You like a color. Good for you. You do you and don’t let anyone, male or female, take control of your likes and dislikes. Don’t let anyone ever tell you your choices on how you dress and care for your own body affect another. They affect only you and your love of oneself. Honour and respect yourself not to care and just be you. Okay?

5) Stand tall and be proud of your sex. You’re an effin’ woman. Be proud of that. Many women have fought for the rights you have now, so celebrate the HECK out of them. Learn about Maya Angelou, Anne Frank, Billie Jean King, Florence Nightingale, Amelia Earhart and the hundreds of other women who have done incredible things. Also celebrate your friends, sisters, mothers, auties and tribe that you get to be a part of every single day. Love, support, empower and encourage one another. Stand up for one another. Be a pillar of strength and love for those around you. The power is inside you. Why? Because you’re a woman, that’s why!

6) If you want to do something, do it (as long as it’s legal). Your sex has nothing to do with what you can and cannot do, believe that. If you have a goal, demand success. You’re going to have to work at it. And, if it’s pushing the limits, you’re going to be told you can’t do it, you’ll be ridiculed and bullied. But you’re strong, you’re a woman, you can achieve anything you want to achieve. Of that I am certain. Fight your fight with confidence, bravery and compassion. Be open to learning. Be open to feedback. But if there is one thing I want to teach you, baby girl, it’s that if you want something, no matter your sex, you can achieve it. 

On International Women’s Day, I want to celebrate the fact that I am gloriously a woman. I love it. I love that I have to battle and fight because this makes me stronger. I love that I get to wear dresses and lipstick because this makes me feel beautiful for me and me alone. I love that the women in my life are all completely different and I love them ALL the same because this makes me realize how beautiful this world is. I love that women are standing up and demanding equality and respect because this empowers me to lead the way and blaze a better trail for my daughter.

I love being a woman. I’m PROUD to be a woman. 

Thank you to ALL the women in the past, and in the present, that are fighting for my rights, fighting my daughter’s rights AND her future. I salute the work you do. And me, I’ll continue to build communities of strong, empowered women…because that’s my life’s work and I’m honoured to do just that.