Why Framily (Yes, Framily) is So Important

Framily. No, I didn’t misspell. I meant to write framily. Do you have framily? Maybe you’re not sure what I’m talking about? I don’t blame you, let me explain.

Framily are the people you consider family but are “just” your friends. They’re the people your kids call “Auntie” or “Uncle” even though they have no blood relation. They’re the people you rely on more than anyone else to help support your journey as a mother/father because if you have framily, you most likely don’t have family living close by, or you’re estranged from them.

I am truly blessed to have framily. No, correction, my kids, my husband and I are truly blessed to have framily. Our parents don’t live anywhere near us (they’re provinces away), we don’t have aunties or uncles close by, no brothers or sister, no cousins, not even a distant cousin. It’s really just me, my hubs and our two wicked kids living our lives and getting through.

But family is important to me. It’s important that my kids have Aunts and Uncles they can call on when life gets complicated and they feel like they can’t talk to us. It’s important that they know they have a safe and loving place to go outside of our house. Enter…framily.

I met my framily at a prenatal course 8 years ago. Her name is Jody and his name is Jay. She was MASSIVE (sorry Jods) and beautiful and funny and when I asked if anyone else would like to meet up with me and my ridiculous dog to go for a hike, she was the only one who said “YES!”. So, we waddled our way around Thetis lake week after week, getting bigger and bigger and more uncomfortable with every step. Her son was born 6 days before mine. Our bond was sealed through motherhood and she’s been my best friend ever since.

She is “Auntie Jody” to my kids and “Uncle Jay” is just as amazing and loving.

Why the nostalgia? Yesterday was a big, big , BIG day for my little girl. She got her ears pierced.

I remember getting my ears pierced with my Mama and it was a magical day. She took me for lunch, we went to a movie and then we got our ears pierced. So, when I asked Auntie Jody if she would come and make the day special for Miss P, she was all over it.

There was lunch:

There was shopping.

There were cupcakes:

And then there was the ear piercing.

And the day was that much more special for Miss P for the simple fact that Auntie Jody was there. Life is super busy, so for her to take the time out of her crazy-busy day meant so much to both Miss P and myself. She bought my daughter a beautiful new dress for her first day of school. She bought her a cupcake to celebrate her big day. And she held her hand when she cried because…well…piercing friggin’ HURTS. 

It is moments like this that I am eternally grateful for our framily. They invite us over for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, because if they didn’t…well, it’d be a quiet dinner and I’d probably just end of crying into my turkey and mashed potatoes. They hug my kids when they know they need it. They celebrate their successes and love them up when they’re scared. They are the family we need when family can’t be here.

So, if you don’t have family near you, I certainly  hope you have framily. AND…if you are lucky enough to have framily, for goodness sake…let them know how grateful you are.

They’ll watch your kids so you and your hubs can go out for an evening. They’ll be your “Emergency Contact” for school. They’ll be your kids sounding board when they’re older because Lord knows, as parents, we just won’t know anything. And, they’ll be the ones who pour you a glass of wine, hold your hand and tell you everything is going to be okay.

So, Auntie Jody and Uncle Jay, you are my framily and I am so grateful for you . We love you both so much. Our family is loved and cherished and included because of you. My kids have other adults they can go to because they know they’re loved by you and you’re a safe place for them. And me, I’m grateful for all of it. The dinners, the wine, the love, the laughter, the memories.

Thank you, framily. You mean more to me than you could ever know.