I’m “so mean, Mom“.
I’m “the worst Mom EVER“.
I’m “so ridiculous, Mom“.
I’m “such a Mean Mom“!
I’m “omg…ugh…whatever, Mom *stomp, stomp, stomp, slam*”.
And ya know what? I’m proud to be part of Team Mean Mom. I stand tall and wave the Team Mean Mom banner. I wear the colors (really, ir’s just grey sweats with coffee and wine stains, but who are you to judge? I see that booger swiped on your shoulder and I salute you).
What does it mean to be a member of Team Mean Mom?
It means you set boundaries. It means you say “no” to your kids when your kids should be told “no”. It means you cancel plans that your kids were looking forward to because their behavior is/was atrocious and you need them to understand there are consequences to their shitty actions.
Team Mean Mom is a group of Moms (really, it’s just me, but I feel better thinking there’s a team of us out there) who refuse to raise little assholes who have zero respect for…well…respect.
To become a member of Team Mean Mom, you will be hazed. Not be me, I’m not mean to other women, mostly I’m just “mean” to my kids. No, I won’t haze you…but your kids will. 100%. Guaranteed hazing.
I’m part of Team Mean Mom because I enforce rules, and I demand respect. Not only respect for me, but for themselves, for others, for space, for time (mine and others’), for the multitude of things that bring them joy.
Don’t even get me started on all the other “things” that are similar to respect but show up in a list of “isn’t this just good behaviour and isn’t it a given that you should life your life like this”?! Such as:
- Taking care of their shit.
- Taking care of one another.
- Not being little a-holes.
- Being on time.
- Being kind to themselves and their friends.
- Doing their homework.
- Cleaning their rooms (ties nicely into respecting the stuff we work hard to provide them with).
- Showing gratitude.
- Doing chores without complaint.
- Being proactive and asking how they can help
- …and many more things we are trying to teach our children.
And hey, listen, I KNOW they’re kids and that they’re learning and testing boundaries. I, 100%, know that. But how the heck are they going to learn those boundaries if we don’t hold them accountable for asshole-like behavioiurs, or even, just general poor decisions or poor time management?
I’m certainly held accountable by them, so why shouldn’t they be held accountable to me?
So, I’m a Mean Mom. I say “no”. I call them out when their behaviour is poor. I let them know if they’ve hurt my feelings. I let them know when they’re total shitheads…but I also tell them why.
I don’t just randomly take things away. I explain to them why they’re losing a privilege. I explain why their behaviour was not okay. I explain why I’m losing my ever-loving mind and that I love them, but they overstepped their awesomeness for the day and I need to reign them in.
It is not often well-received. I’m often eye-rolled and stomped away from. But then, after some time, I’m apologized to and my kids often acknolwedge with their own words what happened and why they will try not to do _______________ (insert shitty behaviour here) again.
And hey…I KNOW they’re going to do it again. That’s okay. They’re learning. I will continue to remind them. I will continue to work with them. I will continue to say “no”, take things away and help my kids grow to be kind, smart, compassionate, driven and amazing children. And I gotta say, it’s mostly because I’m a Mean Mom.
I’m a part of Team Mean Mom and I hope you’re beside me. Because when I see another “Mean Mom” on the street, in the aisle of the grocery store, at the park, at a sporting event, in a restaurant…you can bet your sweet ass I’m going up to her, giving her a hug and hip bump to let her know that we are stronger as a team.
We may be part of Team Mean Mom, but we’re certainly doing it for all the right reasons.
Stay strong, Mean Moms. I got your back.