I want to raise an independent woman. I want to raise a strong woman. I want to raise a woman who stands up for herself but does so with respect and…well…finality, no wishy-washy bullshit…just strength and power.
I want to teach her that her words matter and how she chooses to say those words, the tone she chooses is almost as important as the actual words themselves.
I want my daughter to have a voice that is intelligent, decisive and used to empower her and the person she is.
Oh Lordy…I want all of this for my daughter and in a time where women are taking so many steps forward but constantly getting pushed back, I see my daughter and the strength she exudes in who she is.
Today she was spoken to in a fairly impolite way. To be fair, the man who said the words was trying to be helpful, but his “coaching” came off as condescending and somewhat…what’s the word?…asshole-ish.
I stood up to say something to stand up for my daughter, but then I paused.
I saw my daughter take a deep breath, roll her shoulders back, lift her chin and say:
“Don’t talk to me like that. I don’t like it. You can coach me, I’d like to learn. But please don’t speak to me like that”.
The man’s jaw dropped open and he seemed unable to speak for a few moments.
I smiled, breathed a sigh of relief and sat back down. I watched the man gather himself.
“Sorry, Paytie. My bad. You’re right. What I was trying to say was….” and off they went for a respectful conversation.
And there’s me…watching my daughter do something I’ve fought my entire life to do. She found her voice and without any edge to it was able to communicate how she felt, that she didn’t like it and how the person could fix it.
What a fucking superstar.
She is constantly teaching me and I am constantly in awe of her spark, compassion and overall knowledge of who she is and what she deserves in this sunshine-y life of hers.
“Don’t talk to me like that”.
WHAT A ROCKSTAR.
It really can be that simple. Use your words. Let people know when they’ve over-stepped and find a way to make it work. Or not…of course…some people are just total assholes, but she knows that too. She knows when to walk away.
But today she corrected and became a smarter, more confident woman today. I have no idea if she’ll remember this moment, but I will, and I will use it in my own life to stand up for how I want to be treated.
I love that at 41 I’m learning from my 8 year old. I love that she is strong and powerful and beautiful. I love that she is confident and respectful.
I love that she is who she is and I truly love that she is mine to adore and be in awe of.
Well done, baby girl. Well. Done.
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